Complaining about a product or service is more than huffing and puffing and threatening to blow a company’s house down. In fact, that’s the last thing you should do if you want your beef resolved to your satisfaction.

Just ask Maria Smith, a Dallas editor and proofreader. About two years ago, she and her husband bought matching dishwashers, but one had some defective parts.

“Ten days came and went, and I called,” said Smith, president of the WordSmith Group. “They said, “It’s going to be another week or so.’ Then it got to be about Labor Day. That’s when I found out that it was going to be Christmas until they got the parts.”

She called the salesman who sold her the dishwashers. He tried to help her find the parts but was unsuccessful. He also said he couldn’t find her an exact replacement dishwasher because it was a closeout item.

Smith found that unacceptable and said she contracted with the store to buy two matching, working dishwashers. When she tried to pursue the matter, the salesman gave her a cool reception.

“He made the mistake of acting like it wasn’t his problem anymore,” Smith said.

“I’ve been patient. I’ve been nice. I’m out of nice,” she said.

After talking with her credit-card company, she called the store back and told them they had until 5 p.m. that day to find the machine parts and install them or get her two matching, working dishwashers. If they didn’t come through, she would pursue the matter through her credit-card company and get her money back.

That same day, store officials told her they had found a matching, working dishwasher.

Complaining about a product or service is as much an art as it is a matter of having all your receipts. In the end, it’s about a relationship between you and the representative of a company.

In that context, it really is true that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. So calm down before you air your complaint.

“You can be angry, but if you act angry, everybody gets angry,” Smith said. “People get defensive, so they’re not thinking about what they can do to help you and make it a win-win situation. They just want to win then.”

State clearly and matter-of-factly what you want to happen in order to have the matter resolved to your satisfaction.

But don’t ask for the moon. Request a fair and reasonable solution that compensates you for your time and trouble.

Jennifer Wasserman of Plano, Texas, wrote to American Airlines Inc. some years ago after her flight from Dallas to New York was delayed because of bad weather, and she and other passengers had been cooped up in their plane for seven hours, partly because the airline had to bring in a fresh crew.

Wasserman, who was traveling in the coach section, said that when she asked for some nuts, a flight attendant told her they were reserved for first-class passengers.

“They wouldn’t offer any food or beverages, other than water,” said Wasserman, a corporate communications specialist who recently became a full-time mom. “It was a big disaster.”

She wrote American, calling its treatment of the passengers “egregious and unacceptable.”

“I explained that not only was it poor foresight to not know that your crew would not be able to fly, but the attitude of the flight attendants was bad,” Wasserman said. “I wanted some sort of voucher or ticket as compensation for the seven hours that I spent on a hot plane.”

The airline sent her a ticket voucher and a letter saying it regretted that she was inconvenienced.

“I was satisfied with what I got but not overly satisfied,” Wasserman said. “I would have appreciated more of an apology about what happened.”

Fort Worth, Texas-based American Airlines considers complaints on an individual basis when it comes to deciding whether to award vouchers or upgrades, said spokeswoman Andrea Rader.

“We don’t have a standard set of one-size-fits-all resolutions about every complaint,” said Rader, who gives this advice: “Calmly state what your problem was, when it occurred and what we can do to help you make that right.”

Be respectful when complaining.

“It’s OK to have the emotion, but it certainly isn’t the person’s fault whom you’re speaking with,” said Lisa Anderson, director of customer advocacy at Dallas-based Southwest Airlines Co., which is known for its customer service. “They’re there to try and fix it for you.”

Think of it another way:

“If you start acting irate, people won’t take you seriously,” said Ron Rosenberg, founder of Drive-You-Nuts.com, which helps consumers get better service. “The person you’re dealing with either can be your worst adversary, or they can be your best ally.”

Have all your facts in order, such as dates when the problem occurred and any product numbers.

Keep important supporting documents such as receipts.

“The company will need all the information from the product and/or package any manufacturing coding information, serial numbers, in order to record and report the information properly,” said Cathy Dial, chairman-elect of the Society of Consumer Affairs Professionals, which represents consumer affairs, customer service and call center managers at companies.

Lay out the information in a logical way and direct your complaint to the person who has the power to make things right.

That may be a local manager, district manager or a company executive.

Some companies give employees in the field the power to resolve customer complaints on the spot.

“At Southwest Airlines, we do empower our folks to make decisions and to resolve the situation,” Anderson said. “If a customer has a specific complaint with respect to something that happened at the airport, they can go right to one of our customer service agents and talk to them. We try to take care of the customer at our first point of contact.”

Get the name of the customer service representative you are speaking with, and don’t hesitate to take your issue to the next-highest level if you feel your request isn’t getting the attention it deserves, the Society of Consumer Affairs Professionals advises.

“The single most important question is, “What are we going to do to make this right?”‘ Rosenberg said. “”We’ means “I’ll work with you.”‘

But be firm about your request.

“Include how their reputation might suffer, because a lot of companies, especially the smaller mom-and-pop organizations, rely on word of mouth,” Wasserman said.

Be prepared to follow through with any threats you make, such as to seek legal action or pull your business, if you’re not satisfied. If you don’t follow through, you will lose credibility.

“You have to come off as an intelligent, articulate pit bull with teeth,” said Suzanne O’Brien of Dallas, a technical applications consultant who’s written complaint letters for herself and others. “You are tenacious, are not going to go away, have the wherewithal to do battle and will pursue the matter to its closure.”

Lastly, throw in some sugar to balance the red-hot peppers.

“Compliment them where they did a good job,” Wasserman said. “Balance the tone.”

Make it worthwhile for the company to resolve the situation. Define your value to the company by putting into numbers how much money you’ve spent with it and how much money you probably will spend in the future.

Don’t threaten to never buy the product or service again, except as a last resort.

Remember, it’s a relationship. If you end it, the company loses its incentive to make you happy.

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If you’re complaining about a product or service, follow these tips to increase the chances of getting what you want:

Don’t complain when you’re full of anger. That will put everyone on the defensive and make the merchant less likely to try to make you happy.

When writing a complaint letter, address it to a local manager and send a copy to the company’s top executives. That should get immediate attention, because the local manager sees that his or her boss has been informed.

Keep notes on the dates of the events you’re complaining about, and retain all relevant documents.

Clearly state what you expect or desire, such as a refund in 10 days.

Send the company a note when the problem has been resolved. That will encourage the company to improve service for all customers.

-SOURCES: Consumer affairs experts; Dallas Morning News research

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(c) 2003, The Dallas Morning News.

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AP-NY-06-30-03 0614EDT