It shouldn’t have caught anyone’s attention, but it did mine.

You know, one of those online polls which a surfer must be acquaintance- or existence-challenged (hard to get friends when you need to get a life) even to consider.

So, naturally, I took the bait. Didn’t point and click, but spent plenty of time stewing about it.

Question: Which of the following NFL teams has the most reason to panic after Week 1? Possible answers: Miami Dolphins, New England Patriots, St. Louis Rams or Philadelphia Eagles.

Not sure why I took that query so personally, but I’m fairly comfortable that the answer doesn’t wear red, white and blue.

Just as the Buffalo Bills and Houston Texans aren’t nearly as carefree and championship-caliber as they may have appeared for a few minutes of their respective season openers, the Patriots are a far cry from being the NFL’s sorriest franchise.

Yes, they looked the part throughout three hours of pure torture. But let’s stop hyperventilating and take stock of the situation. The whole team that flat-footed it through the preseason in the manner of a young Richard Petty didn’t just take off down the Interstate of Life at 45 miles per hour in the manner of a younger Morgan Freeman from “Driving Miss Daisy.”

One player did, and therein lies the conundrum.

In less than a week, Lawyer Milloy made the unforeseen transformation from Patriots’ defensive captain to starting strong safety for the opponent. No amount of X-ing and O-ing, rah-rah-ing or spin doctoring could overcome that. The Patriots harbored as much desire to play that game as you did to substitute liver and onions for nachos and beer in your pre-game buffet.

There is reason to believe that before, during and after the game, Patriots defensive holdovers Ty Law and Tedy Bruschi, among others, wielded acrimonious feelings toward team management. I can live with that. After all, I’m holding onto a few un-Christian thoughts about Bill Belichick and the brass in my own right, and I’ve never lined up side-by-side with Milloy on the gridiron.

Once the Pats sufficiently wrestle with those emotions, however, the wise observer will view this apparent train wreck from a football perspective. In the last two decades, arguably the only irreplaceable safety in the league was Ronnie Lott, circa 1988. Don’t know about you, but I’d rather tackle life without Milloy than bid farewell to Law, Troy Brown, Tom Brady or even Adam Vinatieri.

We’re also able to draw inspiration from recent history. The last two times New England surged all the way to the Super Bowl, each season began with a hiccup rather than a holler. In 1996, the Pats turned in a similarly listless effort against another divisional opponent, the Dolphins.

Two years ago, the Patriots didn’t even win a game until Sept. 30. In Week 1, Drew Bledsoe (another “friend” now roaming that Buffalo sideline) and the Pats were dismissed by the Cincinnati Bengals, which is the football equivalent of wearing leather and chains into the Bronx and getting mugged by a great-grandmother from Pocatello.

Then, in a post 9-11game packed with a hundred times more emotion than the recent trip to upstate New York, the offense failed to score a touchdown against the Jets. To top it off, Bledsoe suffered life-endangering injuries from a hit that effectively ended his run as a Patriot.

Somehow, the team recovered.

While we wait to see how the restructured Patriots dig themselves out of this hole, panic is not an appropriate response. If they lay another goose egg this afternoon in Philadelphia another restless, sputtering Super Bowl contender, I reserve the right to change my mind.

For now, though, it’s high time to take solace in the fact that we didn’t lose at home to a second-year expansion team or allow our star quarterback to play up to three-quarters of a game with a head injury.

Things could be much worse.

Right?

Kalle Oakes is sports editor and can be reached by e-mail at [email protected].