WEST PARIS – Their visit was quiet.

Not a word was spoken.

Henry Waisanen appeared to be sleeping, but his grip on wife Sheryl’s hand indicated that perhaps he wasn’t.

Her watery eyes and occasional tear showed that Sheryl was aware of his presence.

The Waisanens, who have been married for 54 years, don’t get to see each other much anymore, so the Tuesday visit was special.

Henry, 82, was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 2000. In February, he went to the Maine Veterans Home in Paris. Two months later, Sheryl, 74, was diagnosed with dementia and was placed in the Rumford Community Home.

The family has been trying to get the couple together in one nursing home ever since. They have three daughters: Norine Stone, 45; Starr Waisanen, 40; and Tammie Rogers, 38.

Sheryl went to Rumford because there was no space in an Oxford Hills facility at the time, according to Donna Eaton, Henry and Sheryl’s niece.

In November 2002, Sheryl was able to move to the Ledgeview Living Center in West Paris. She had worked as a certified nursing assistant there for 20 years.

They were closer, about 7 miles apart, but still not together.

The decision to place both parents in nursing homes was difficult for the Waisanen family. Stone, who lived with her parents for several years before they went to nursing homes, said she was up “day and night” with them, helping in any capacity she could.

She slept in the living room in case Henry tried to go out, Norine said. “We had alarms on the doors, and he still got out.

“There was more than once that I had to pick him up from the garage floor. That last night here, he fell and broke his shoulder,” she said.

Rogers, now living in Greenville, S.C., was in West Paris on Tuesday to visit her parents.

Henry worked as a lumberjack for more than 30 years for Penley Corp., Tammie recalled. She said her parents frequently took her and her sisters camping.

“They loved each other very much,” Tammie said. “They used to go to dances in Locke Mills every Saturday night.

“They were together almost every night of their marriage,” she said.

“They were just never apart.”

///////////Waiting list

In the past 11 months, Henry and Sheryl have been able to see each other three times: once in November 2002, again in August 2003 and now on Tuesday.

Ellie Newell, Maine Veterans Home admissions coordinator, said Sheryl is on the waiting list for placement there.

Newell said priority is given to veterans and to a person who is in their home.

She said bylaws also require that the veteran population be maintained at 75 percent.

“If we had a bed come up and no one at home we certainly would consider her,” Newell said. “I’m familiar with them. They certainly do enjoy the time they spend together in their visits.”

Tammie agrees that her mother should be with her father.

“She didn’t express it in words, but she knew that was him,” Tammie said about the Tuesday visit.

On some days Henry is more cognizant than Sheryl and on other days Sheryl is more aware, she said.

“That’s why it’s important they are together,” Tammie said. “They may both have a good day.”

jsmedley@sunjournal.com

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