The Court of Peeves, Crotchets & Irks resumes its winter assizes with a petition from Terry Osborne of Simpsonville, S.C. She asks the court to rule on this sentence, from Newsweek magazine in March:

“Jazz is one of America’s only homegrown art forms.”

Ms. Osborne reasonably inquires, “Should it not be either ‘the only’ or ‘one of the few’?” Her question opens a real can of commentary. Affirming her opinion, the court will say that the Newsweek critic would have been better off with “one of the few.” There must be a hundred art forms that are homegrown in the U.S.A. There is hog calling, for one, and the squeeze bunt, the turkey trot, the Charleston and the shimmy. Writers should learn early in their careers to treat defining terms with care.

Further reflections on “only”: The idiomatic “one of the only” is just that: It is an idiom, and nothing in the bylaws of English requires that idioms make perfect sense. We can live with “one of the only.” We can also live with “one of the greatest,” “one of the dullest” and “one of the most hilarious.” The court’s advice to literalist writers is to take an aspirin and call your editors in the morning.

Much larger problems lie with “one” in other contexts. There is, for example, the faceless or anonymous “one,” as in, “One has to believe that Gore won the election.” Or, “One does not hesitate to say that Justice Scalia is the most vigorous writer on the court.” There is also the antecedent “one,” as in, “One must be careful not to trump one’s ace.” This is the “one” that leads to such confusions as, “One must be careful not to trump her ace,” which may lead to homicide or divorce.

The court will combine Reader Osborne’s petition with a request from Tamara Shaffer of Chicago. She asks about this sentence: “It was one of those deaths that shocks everyone.” Is the proper verb “shock” or “shocks”? Think it over. If we skip past the prepositional phrase “of those deaths,” we land on the singular verb “shocks,” i.e., “one that shocks.” If we regard “deaths” as the subject of the “that” clause, we get the plural “shock,” i.e., “deaths that shock everyone.”

Sad to say, the court has wrestled with this construction for 35 years and asks to be recused. The court’s lame conclusion, after all this time – night and day pondering, pondering, constantly pondering – is that the choice of a singular or plural verb on these constructions is controlled by the doctrine of notional agreement. And what is this arcane doctrine? It is to train your ear and finally trust it. Abundant authorities can be found on both sides.

Herm Brunotte of Buffalo, N.Y., asks the court for a ruling on “most of the editors I know are honest.” Mr. Brunotte inquires, “How many does ‘most’ define?” The court will define “most” in this context as “nearly all” or “with very few exceptions.” In other contexts, the court is uncertain. “Most speeches in the House are useful.” (Think 17 percent.) “Most of the young women of Denmark are knockouts.” (Think 92 percent.) When a grandchild says that “most of the time” he remembers to brush his teeth, the kid is fibbing.

Violet Poynter of Cincinnati asks the court for an order banning the Unnecessary That. Her motion goes to such a sentence as, “We know that two plus two equals four,” or, “He says that he locked the door.” These are known as contact clauses. There appears to be no ironclad rule on using the “that” or leaving it out. The court would keep the “that” in the first example and delete it in the second.

The choice, again, is mostly a matter of ear. With such verbs as “say,” “think” or “believe,” the “that” often may be omitted. With such verbs as “hold,” “assert” or “find,” maybe “that” helps. Except in matters of cadence or euphony, a universal maxim applies: If it is not necessary to use an optional word or syllable, it is necessary not to use it. Court stands adjourned.

James Kilpatrick is a syndicated columnist.

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