I know you all have been waiting impatiently for the results of 2003’s contest for the most overused phrase. The wait is over.

Fifth place: “My bad.” It means “I’m sorry, but not enough to apologize formally.” I should have mentioned this last year but, well: My bad.

Fourth: “What’s up with that?” This really cool question actually means: “I don’t understand what you just said. Please rephrase with smaller words.”

Third: “How XXX is that?” Change XXX to your favorite adjective. Translation: “I think that is very XXX, and you must not disagree.”

Second: “Don’t go there.” This is an almost polite way of saying: “I don’t want to talk about it.” Usually it’s just: “I don’t care what you think.”

And the winner is: “I’m like … OH … MY … GAWD!” This bloated excrescence means nothing at all. Someone who uses it wants his audience to believe he feels passionately about some subject. It’s really just a verbal comma while he decides on a second or third place variation to use next.

Use them at your own risk. At the end of the day, after connecting the dots, you have the right to free speech – even content-free speech. And the rest of us are free to react in any legal way we want. If you don’t believe me, ask the Dixie Chicks. How democratic is that?

Mike LeBlanc, East Wilton