Dear Good Girls,

Last January, I made an inappropriate remark to a chronically late co-worker – no profanity, just rude: “Why don’t you get to work on time once in a while?”

She went into a rage and pushed me hard up against a counter. I wasn’t hurt, but I reported it to our supervisors.

Now, an entire year later, I just received a poor performance review. I was told I had “started” that incident a year ago by provoking my co-worker, who evidently was going through some personal problems at the time. Therefore, her assault on me was “my fault.” My supervisors went on to say my co-worker claimed I was physically aggressive to her, which was untrue. They said I probably should have been fired for starting the incident, and that I should be grateful I still had a job.

I was stunned, as I had never been informed of these charges, had never received a verbal or written warning and had never been allowed to defend myself. I would never hurt anybody. At the review, my supervisor said that, other than beating up my co-workers, I am a “model employee.” How can I get these false charges off my record?

Dear Reader,

We sure wish you’d written to us when all this happened. With problems like these, it’s imperative to follow up immediately, while memories are still fresh. That way, you can present your version of events and make sure the dispute is resolved fairly.

But better late than never. So take action. Talk to your supervisors and tell them you want to dispute the woman’s allegations. Write a letter explaining the incident from your point of view and ask to have it put in your personnel file. If there were witnesses, ask them to write supporting letters on your behalf.

And in the future, learn a lesson from this. Certainly, we’re horrified at the idea of co-workers shoving each other around the cubicles. But next time, before you shoot your mouth off, remember that you never know who’s ready to snap. The person who’s chronically late may be taking her mother to chemotherapy every morning before work.

If a co-worker’s tardiness or other problems are affecting your own work, tell your supervisor. Otherwise, keep your opinions of your colleagues to yourself.

Dear Good Girls,

My son worked as a salaried employee for the same company for 22 years. Until three years ago, he was allowed to work overtime as needed. Then the company announced there would be no more overtime pay.

However, my son had an overload of work, so he had to keep working overtime. The boss knew about it, and my son thought the overtime was approved, because he kept getting his overtime pay.

But three months ago, my son was called in and told he was being fired for working unauthorized overtime.

My son and his boss always worked well together. But when my son tried to ask his boss to back him up on this, the company told him the boss had been ordered not to talk to him. To this day, his boss has not contacted him.

My question is, why did it take three years for the company to notice my son was working overtime? Can they fire him for this when his boss knew about it?

Dear Reader,

Probably. While it might be worthwhile for your son to consult with a lawyer who specializes in employment law, we’re not optimistic.

Unfortunately, both your son and his boss chose to ignore a clearly stated company policy. If your son had more work than he could complete on his shift, it was his boss’ responsibility to work it out – and to authorize any necessary overtime, in writing.

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(Got a problem at work? We can help! Write to the Good Girls at austin.elizabethcomcast.net, or write to us at P.O. Box 5063, River Forest, IL 60305.)

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(c) 2004, Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services.

AP-NY-01-13-04 1746EST