Bangor Daily News, Feb. 12
The Maine Taxpayer’s Action Network, intentionally or not, couldn’t have given the state more chances to avoid its property-tax cap, a sledgehammer blow to municipal budgets that likely will go to voters via citizen’s initiative either in June or November. Where MTAN warned, the state dithered. It delayed. … Years went by in this futile fashion and all the while MTAN promised it would inflict its solution on Maine. Finally this week, the Secretary of State’s Office concluded the group gathered enough signatures to get its measure on the ballot.

There’s no sense downplaying the effect of the measure should it pass. Bangor will collect about $38.5 million in property taxes this year. Under the initiative, which limits taxes to 1 percent of assessed value, the city could collect less than half that, leaving a $20 million hole in a total budget of around $69 million. There is no way to make this up through cutting waste. Services will go, fees for other services will be imposed, schools will be drastically underfunded. That’s not reform; it is punishment. …

There is no question that Maine has a tax problem. Whether it ranks first, fourth or 10th in tax burden, its rates are high in areas that matter for development. Its proximity to New Hampshire, with that state’s lack of income tax, makes matters worse, and combined with high energy costs and the distance from major markets, Maine has a slow-moving crisis in the collapse of its economy. Policymakers seem to know this theoretically but have trouble putting aside their pet preferences to act.

Nothing would highlight this more than if the MTAN initiative were passed by voters while the governor’s office and the Maine Municipal Association continued to argue, as they have been doing for months, about how to craft tax reform. If only they could deliver together as MTAN has done on its own.


‘Big Suburban’

This little ditty, of unknown origins, is floating around the State House in Augusta. It refers to Gov. Baldacci’s recent accident. We present it to you. It plays to the tune of “Hot Rod Lincoln.”


The Gov said, “Son, I’ll buy you a bourbon”

“If you’ll keep on drivin’ my Big … Su…burban”

Have you heard this story of the Highway Race

Where the Big Suburban was settin’ the pace?

That story is true I’m here to say

I was drivin’ that Chevrolet

It’s the governor’s rig and it’s all fixed up

And it’s got enough holders for 10 or 12 cups

Holds 40 gallons, uses them all

Takes three parkin’ spaces at the mall

With a four-star rating in the ol’ Crash Test

It ain’t the worst and it ain’t the best

It’s a little top-heavy, but I ain’t scared

On the rollover test she rated ‘Fair’

Pulled out of Augusta early one morn

At the tail-end of a light snowstorm

The governor said “We’re late, let’s fly!”

We tore down the highway like it was dry

All of a sudden I was seein’ red

Two little taillights up ahead

I had to slow down I’m sad to say

That Toyota Camry was in our way

Now the Gov was ribbin’ me for bein’ behind

And I sad ‘Gov, just never you mind”

I switched our headlights up to ‘bright’

And that little Camry pulled to the right

The flashin’ yellow sign said 45

But me and the Gov don’t play that jive

Thought I’d have me a little fun

So I wound it on up to 71

Now I ain’t one to lose my nerve

But we hit a patch of ice and started to swerve

I forgot all the trainin’ they made me take

So I cut the wheel and hit the brake

We sideswiped the Camry and started to skid

The Gov started whinin’ like a little kid

My grip on the wheel got tighter and tighter

My poor ol’ knuckles got whiter and whiter

We lost control and started to slide

Doin’ 360s like a carnival ride

I turned my head to the passenger side

The gov’nor looked as white as a sheet

The Camry coasted onto the median strip

But we went off the road and started to flip

The Gov was hollerin’ for all he was worth

You’d swore to God he was givin’ birth

The airbags deployed, man what a ride

We came to stop layin’ on our side

Sore from our heads down to our toes

Not to mention our bruised egos

The Gov don’t worry what people think

And he took me out for a little drink

The Gov said “Son, I’ll buy you a bourbon”

“If you keep on drivin’ my Big … Su…Burban”