PHOENIX (AP) – A prison guard who was held hostage and raped during a 15-day standoff in a watchtower said Tuesday that she broke down emotionally after returning to the scene of the crime, but still hopes to go back to work someday.

“It really hit me hard,” Lois Fraley said of the Friday walk-through at the prison.

Initially, she cried and ran out. She then returned and walked through the now-remodeled three-story building with a psychologist. The next day, Fraley had her first breakdown.

“I see the breakdown as a healing. Time to put another stitch in the wound,” she said at a news conference Tuesday.

Fraley and fellow guard Jason Auch were taken hostage at the Arizona Prison Complex-Lewis on Jan. 18 when a pair of inmates seized the tower. The inmates released Auch on Jan. 24, but Fraley was not freed until the inmates surrendered on Feb. 1.

During her captivity, she alleges both inmates raped her. Inmate Steven Coy, who grew up in Lewiston, Maine, pleaded guilty to raping her and to other charges; Wassenaar awaits trial.

At one point, Wassenaar threatened to cut off Fraley’s finger if he didn’t get the food and cigarettes he wanted. She also told officials that every time Wassenaar went to the tower’s deck, Coy pointed a gun at her head.

Fraley said she still fears being around inmates, but with the help of therapy, she hopes to eventually transition into a prison setting.

“I’m not going to let this keep me down,” Fraley said, clad in her tan officer’s uniform. “I’m a survivor, not a victim.”

Fraley’s identity had been withheld by the media during and after the standoff because of the rape allegations.

But late last month, she made her name public and appeared on a national morning news show, wearing her corrections uniform and speaking about her ordeal openly.

AP-ES-04-06-04 2106EDT

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