When my wife, Mary, and I first moved to Auburn 16 years ago, one of the first questions we had about our new hometown was, “How are the public schools?”

Like many parents, we had both high expectations and aspirations for our children. The fact that our first was only 2 1/2-years-old and our second a newborn made no difference to us. Our parental responsibilities weighed heavily, and we took the job seriously.

For our first stop, we bundled up the kids and headed off to the wonderful Children’s Room at the Auburn Public Library. The public library is a great resource for all kinds of things – books, videos, tapes and, by far the most important, friends. The Children’s Room story time is the best way to check out not only new books, but new friends for parents and new friends for kids.

Like dating at a restaurant, the library is a safe place to “test the waters” of friendship. If you like them, you keep meeting at the library until you feel ready to ask for the first play date. If you don’t like them or your interests are too diverse, you leave the relationship at the story-time level and feelings don’t get hurt. These story-time friends were also our first source of information on the public school system.

Like spring runoff cascading over the Great Falls, we were deluged with opinions. Most everyone we spoke with had stories about the long road of public education that stretched before us. Some good, but most bad.

Looking back on it, we should have realized that new parents with no kids in the school system are not the best source of information. But we were young, nave and new to the area.

We heard stories of gangs of 3rd-graders roaming the halls and lying in wait for our babies in kindergarten. We heard stories of incompetent teachers and, worse, indifferent administrators. We heard stories of buildings and playgrounds ruled by bullies while playground monitors turned the other cheek, equipment that was barely holding together and classrooms that were overcrowded and out of control.

What had we done? What on Earth made us think that we could ever consider sending our children to these pits of educational despair?

Fortunately, our intuition and the calming words of our parents prevailed. “It’ll be all right,” I remember my mother telling me. “You weren’t ready to buy a house, but you did anyway. You weren’t ready to have children, but you had them anyway. You won’t be ready for them to go to school, but you’ll it love when they go. They’ll be fine and they’ll do fine.”

After the first few weeks of kindergarten, my mother’s reason and experience were reassuringly real.

From the first day of school right up to our son’s graduation, we still heard the stories – especially when he was transitioning to a new building. In the beginning, our own positive experiences told us to politely ignore the comments, but by the time he was ready to graduate we were bluntly disputing anyone’s negative comments about the public school system.

The residents of Auburn should be proud of the education our children are getting. Sure there are problems – problems invade every school whether public, private or parochial. But by far and away, our kids are getting great educations that are preparing them for the future. Our son and his classmates are attending some of the best colleges and universities in the world. Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Cornell University, Tufts University, Virginia Tech, Middlebury College, St. Michaels College and Pepperdine University to name just a few.

The majority of teachers in Auburn are caring, dedicated professionals. There are no gangs of older students harassing the younger ones and the administrators always make time when we ask for it. Our oldest child successfully finished 12 years in Auburn and our other three children are well on their way.

The greatest lesson we learned is about who really makes the difference in the education of children. We learned it’s not the buildings, it’s not the “3 Rs,” it’s not the athletics and it’s not the teachers.

It was and still is us – the parents. Parents are the first and best teachers.

We make the biggest difference in our children’s education. If we stay involved, talk to our kids teachers, root for their teams, attend countless hours of PTO meetings or parent-teacher conferences and insist on excellence, our children will be alright and they’ll do fine.

So, when new parents or folks new to Auburn ask us, “How are the public schools?” We tell them they’re great, as long as they stay involved.

Jim Wilkins is a member of the Androscoggin Chamber of Commerce Regional Image Committee. He and his wife, Mary, 17-year residents of Auburn, are raising four children. The oldest graduated ELHS in 2003, two are students at ELHS and the youngest is a student at Auburn Middle School.