AUBURN – Mary Ann Haxton had a good marriage. She and her husband, a United Methodist minister, were raising their three children in Christian faith.

But something was missing.

After a lifetime of denying her homosexuality, Haxton came to terms with herself. So did her friend, Marty Elkin.

“Once I became clear in my own heart and head, I knew that I would have to leave the marriage, and I felt a huge load off my shoulders,” said Haxton. “Everything finally made sense.”

The women, who consider themselves lifelong Christians, met in church. Haxton majored in religion in college and played activist roles within the church hierarchy for several years. Elkin played the dutiful wife and mother while her husband spent most of his time away on business.

She had never entertained the thought that she might be gay and she saw herself initially as supporting Haxton only as a friend. When she realized that she shared her friend’s sexual orientation, she turned to the Bible.

“I came to the conclusion that God is about love, and that love is good,” said Elkin. “God would not have done this to me if he hadn’t wanted me to become a happier person.”

After Elkin and Haxton realized that they wanted to enter into a committed partnership, they divorced their husbands and openly declared their lesbian relationship.

They were asked to leave the congregation despite years of active participation in church leadership.

“I had never felt any kind of discrimination before that,” said Haxton. “I grew up middle class and had been active in many social justice issues. But it wasn’t until I came out that I experienced firsthand the oppression that I know others have felt.”

That was 16 years ago in Illinois. Mary Ann Haxton and Marty Elkin have since found acceptance in the United Methodist Church of Auburn, which recently designated itself as a “reconciling” church, meaning that it welcomes gays and lesbians.

The decision to become a reconciling church occurred after years of discussion spearheaded by a committee on sexual diversity.

However, of the 500-plus members of the congregation, only about 60 chose to participate in the vote, which was overwhelming but not unanimous, said Pastor Rich Cullen.

He said he was aware of some members leaving the church because of its acceptance of homosexuality.

The local church’s decision flies in the face of an official United Methodist stance taken earlier this month at the General Conference in Pittsburgh. The conference, held every four years, determines the doctrine and practices for members world-wide, concluded with a harder line against homosexuality.

Conference delegates decided by majority vote that homosexuality was incompatible with Christian teaching and voted down a proposed statement that acknowledged that members disagreed on the issue.

The conference made no reversal of an earlier verdict that found clergywoman Karen Dammann of Seattle not guilty of any chargeable church offense despite her open declaration of being a lesbian.

However, delegates revised the doctrine to prohibit United Methodist ministers from practicing homosexuality and from conducting same-sex weddings and unions.

In addition, the church cannot use any finances to promote homosexual acceptance, according to a United Methodist News Service publication.

“I think those decisions are horrible,” said Auburn Pastor Cullen. “I think they’re a reaction against the changes we’ve seen in the past year.”

Cullen referred to ongoing political and legal battles in California and Massachusetts for same-sex marriages. He predicted that gays and lesbians would eventually acquire equal legal rights and broader acceptance within the church.

“These couples are every bit as married as a heterosexual may be, but are denied the same rights and privileges,” Cullen said.

“And if you define homosexuality as two members of the same gender attracted to each other in a loving and caring relationship, it seems clear as day to me that there is no conflict with religious teaching.”