1. Which show will critics love but viewers, maybe, not so much?

None is as uniquely warped as “Arrested Development,” but “Desperate Housewives” on ABC will be perceived as either brilliant or just plain bad. A dead woman narrates it, the characters are complex, and the writing is funny and clever but disarmingly dark, all of which could have folks hankering for the familiar and running for their remotes. But hang in past the pilot’s 30-minute mark, and you will be justly rewarded.

2. Is this really the last season of “Everybody Loves Raymond” and “NYPD Blue?”

We can’t imagine “Raymond” or “Blue” would pull a “Friends” and find a lost season of episodes. Ray Romano says that after eight seasons he’s “absolutely finished” – though that was before “Welcome to Mooseport” bombed. “Blue” creator Steven Bochco has finally conceded that “Blue” has been dragging its creative feet and will close the book on the cop drama March 1 after 11 seasons. Of course, that opens the door for Bochco’s next series, about a blind detective.

3. Last season, Friday was the most competitive night for new shows. What about this season?

It’s Tuesday. If the pilots hold up, 9 p.m. will be a crowded hour with NBC’s irreverent comedy “Father of the Pride,” CBS’ sweet drama “Clubhouse” and UPN’s sassy drama “Veronica Mars.” Add Fox’s offbeat medical drama “House” to that mix, plus the rising teen drama “One Tree Hill” on WB and the returning “According to Jim” on ABC (hey, somebody’s watching it), and something’s gotta give.

4. Why would CBS put “CSI: New York” up against “Law & Order on Wednesdays.?

While “CSI” and “CSI: Miami” both gained viewers this past season, all three “Law & Orders” are losing viewers.

CBS thinks the “Law & Order” mothership is a weakened giant ripe for slaying.

5. Why aren’t there any new shows on Saturday?

Saturday has become what Friday used to be to the networks, a night that viewers are simply not in front of their sets. NBC has completely bailed, scheduling a block of reruns (8 p.m. will be an “Apprentice” return, 10 p.m. one of the “Law & Orders”). ABC is going with a Disney movie. CBS is airing “The Amazing Race” and crime-show reruns. Fox stands pat with “Cops” and “America’s Most Wanted,” a lineup so durable it’s bound to outlive us all.

6. What’s this about “Alias” not being on in September?

“Alias” will share the Sunday time slot with “Desperate Housewives” (see No. 1). But “Alias” doesn’t premiere until midseason, and when it does, expect a more-toned-down series. ABC felt “Alias” went off the deep end, losing viewers to sheer confusion. One warning: Creator J.J. Abrams is doing the new series “Lost.”

7. Is there anything funny on this season?

Yeah. Witty dramas. “Desperate Housewives” and “Life as We Know It,” both on ABC, offered some of the funniest stuff in their pilots. “dr. vegas,” with Rob Lowe as a casino doctor, was hilarious, too, not that it was trying to be. “Father of the Pride” on NBC looks funny. Otherwise, await the return of “Arrested Development” on Fox, “Two and a Half Men” on CBS and the final season of “Everybody Loves Raymond.”

8. Is UPN doing a disservice to black viewers by putting “Kevin Hill” opposite Fox’s “The Bernie Mac Show” on Wednesdays?

Not necessarily. Much the way Latino viewers don’t make up a bulk of viewers watching “George Lopez,” African-American viewers have never really flocked to “Bernie Mac.” More than 50 percent of the show’s viewers are white. The Taye Diggs drama “Kevin Hill” will probably pick up more black and Hispanic viewers if only because they’re more loyal to UPN than to Fox.

9. Some of the best stuff comes on in midseason. Anything good coming up?

Bochco is back in the cop game on ABC with “Blind Justice,” a drama about a blind detective. NBC has “Revelations,” a sure-fire controversial series about the Bible’s teachings of the world’s end. And “The Contender” is a kind of boxing “Survivor” with Mark Burnett as producer and Sylvester Stallone as host. Fox has “Jonny Zero,” a gritty drama from John Wells (“ER”) about an ex-con using his street smarts to solve crimes.

10. Is that really Donald Trump’s hair?

It is. He invited us to yank it, and we politely declined. Trump’s hair, which often stands at attention like St. Augustine grass, received so much attention during the first season of “The Apprentice,” we were surprised it didn’t get an Emmy nod of its own. Oh, well. This season, Trump and “The Apprentice II” may have some competition – at least for biggest ego – from Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, who launches his own reality rip-off, “The Benefactor,” on ABC on Sept. 13.

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AP-NY-09-10-04 1430EDT