You know you’re a New England sports fan if:

– You listen closely, you can hear the leaves in your yard taunting the rake that’s been sitting outside the shed the last three weeks.

– The idiot light in your car used to flash an oil can, now it’s flashing “For God’s Sake, Change Me.”

– It’s a good thing your kid is eight years removed from diapers or DHS would be knocking on your door.

– Your spouse is scanning the Yellow Pages for divorce lawyers.

New England sports fans are useless right now. The entire region is in a stupor brought on by sleep deprivation and shock, and there’s more chores and people being neglected than facts in a campaign ad.

It has never been this good for the Boston/New England sports fan. It’s heaven. The Patriots haven’t lost since Grady Little managed the Red Sox. The Red Sox, despite hiring a younger, balder version of Grady to replace Grady, are in the World Series. To add an extra hop to our steps, both teams are making New York sports fans miserable in the process.

The closest we’ve been to this, in my lifetime at least, is 1986, when the Patriots, Celtics and Red Sox all played for their league championships.

Those were heady days, indeed. Two of those teams, the Pats and Sox, basically came out of nowhere and made remarkable playoff runs. The Patriots were the first team to win three playoff games on the road. The Sox came back after being down three games to one and down to their last strike in the ALCS against the Angels.

Both teams crashed and burned at the end, of course, but that’s not why 2004 blows 1986 away.

The only legends to come out of 1986 were Dave Henderson and Bill Buckner. These Red Sox have already given us Curt Schilling, Johnny Damon, David Ortiz, Derek Lowe and Mark Bellhorn. Regardless of what happens in the World Series, they beat, nay, humiliated, the Yankees, and that will bring smiles to our faces for the rest of our lives.

The Patriots of 18 years ago didn’t produce any legends, although people still recall with wonder how Tony Eason could play football without a spine. Generations from now, young Patriots fans will be asking their fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers about Tom Brady, Bill Belichick, Ty Law and Adam Vinatieri.

Another reason 2004 trumps 1986 is because it seems like everyone appreciates our good fortune now. Maybe we have 1992 to thank for that. In case you expunged that year from you memory, here’s a quick refresher. The Red Sox, under the direction of Butch Hobson, went 73-89. The offense was led by none other than Tom Brunansky, with 15 home runs. Words can not possibly describe how boring that team was. The Patriots had Old Town’s own Dick McPherson at the helm and went 2-14. Tommy Hodson and Hugh Millen split time at quarterback. Nuf said.

With 1986 and 1992 in mind. Boston fans born before 1980 have an obligation to remind the younger fans of our ilk just how lucky we are right now.

This is beyond the fun and memory-making of a championship run . Fans around the country are envying us.

We’re witnessing history. The Red Sox and Patriots have already done things that have never been done in their respective sports, and there’s no end in sight.

We’d be doing a disservice to our forefathers and our fellow sports fans if we didn’t devote our full attention to them.

If your spouse doesn’t buy that argument, here’s hoping it holds up in court.