I am the only one in my situation. That’s what it feels like to me, I feel like I’m the only one staring an eating disorder in the face. I know I am not the only person with this problem, but when none of my peers know what it’s like, it’s hard to remember that I’m not alone.

Even though I’ve read books about my disorder, nothing prepared me for the ultimatum I was given. I was told that I need to gain two pounds in one week or I would have to get an evaluation at Mercy Hospital (Mercy Hospital is a hospital for people with eating disorders like mine) to determine how intensive my treatment would have to be.

As scary as this all is, I have to remember that I am not alone, even if at times, it seems I am. I know I can’t give up hope because if I do I am as good as dead.

I always thought that I would never be in danger of being hospitalized. I had set up a sort of illusion for myself. I realize now how stupid that was. Everyone thinks that it won’t happen to them, like me, but it does.

So now I have the realization that I have to juggle a hectic life and an eating disorder in secret. The tremendous pressure of keeping everything to myself is a lot? Feeling like I am alone is hard, too. So now I’m coming out about it, I’m saying it here and now; I have anorexia nervosa.

If you are a person with a disorder like mine I hope you realize that you are not alone. If you know someone like me, give them a hug, tell them that you love them, and let them know that they are not alone. Listen to them even if what they have to say is not ground breaking. I should know, feeling alone in dealing with an eating disorder is not easy. I know I’m not alone and I hope you know you are not alone either.

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