He’s leavin’ on a jet plane. Doesn’t know when, or if, he’ll be back again.

Unnerved and unemployed for five months, Eric Richardson finds the thought of a second George W. Bush term so distasteful that he’ll do anything to escape.

Like take a vacation to Scotland. Permanently.

“Do you really think things are going to change? The Republicans have such a stronghold that they’ll be the majority party in four years, no matter what,” Richardson reasoned from his home (for now) in South Paris. “I don’t think the politics are going to favor a Democrat for a long, long time.”

Bush’s win has inspired empty threats and bizarre statements from left-of-center political activists.

Rapper P. Diddy and smut peddler Larry Flynt have threatened to leave the United States. Moby, the musician, suggests that “blue” states won by John Kerry should secede. And benefactor George Soros says he’s considered joining “some kind of monastery.”

Richardson’s not much different from them, other than the fact that they’re gazillionaires and he’d probably need a windfall from a bottle drive or bake sale just to spend a weekend in Canada.

Glasgow looks good

He says a job search since June has yielded no full-time employment offers or prospective wages above $7 an hour. His wife, Betty, works at a restaurant in the Maine Mall. Much of her salary goes toward fuel and tolls.

Eric believes Betty’s sister and brother-in-law will join the team he calls Mainers on the Move. They detest the economic climate and oppose the war, too.

“We don’t want to stay here,” he said. “It’s like a plumber working for a company when the boss is an (expletive). You don’t stay. You go out and find another job.”

Yeah, but that means updating your resume, sweating out an interview and surviving a reference or credit check.

There’s no passport or trans-Atlantic flight required. No danger in changing neighborhoods.

Richardson admits this won’t be as easy as switching his long-distance carrier.

“Some places just aren’t logical to go,” he said. “If we went to France, can you imagine? For an American, it would be like riding in the president’s limousine. You’d be getting egged every day.”

Scotland appeals to Richardson because of his family heritage. He’s already priced a one-way flight to Glasgow on Dec. 13 for a gang of four.

That runs about $5,000. And let’s not forget room, board, food, drink, cab fare and walking-around money.

Don’t like the boss’

Richardson hopes locals who supported Kerry and running mate John Edwards will join them on the journey. Those who don’t, well, perhaps they can donate and enjoy a measure of vicarious vindication.

“Lots of people I talk to are not happy with the way things are, but you never know who’s serious until they actually fill out the forms and apply for a passport,” Richardson said. “You can talk the talk, but are you gonna walk the walk? I want to walk the walk. I’d leave tomorrow if I had the money.”

Oh, and if you’re reading this and thinking don’t-let-the-door-hit-ya, Richardson says he won’t refuse gifts from Republicans, either.

Richardson knows it’s a risk to solicit cash publicly for a cause that many will deem unpatriotic.

His defense is that he’s sticking up for little guys and for military personnel who have no choice but to keep quiet.

“I’m not anti-American,” said Richardson. “I hope people don’t see it as being anti-American. I’m not a left-wing activist by any stretch of the imagination.

“I just don’t like the boss who’s minding the store right now.”

Kalle Oakes is the Sun Journal’s columnist. His e-mail is [email protected].