DEAR ABBY: I love my husband, “Harvey,” very much, but he is tight with money. I am not a spendthrift, and we pay our bills on time and have no large debts.

Every time we buy something, Harvey feels the need to comment about how much we’re spending. This includes eating out – which we do infrequently. I have walked out of more than one restaurant when Harvey started complaining about the prices. I tell him it takes the enjoyment out of an otherwise pleasant experience, but he doesn’t seem to get it. He says he likes to complain and that I should ignore it.

We have an anniversary coming up, and I know Harvey will want to take me out to dinner, but I can’t look forward to it because I know what will happen, and I won’t have a good time. What should I do? – WANTS TO EAT IN PEACE IN MAINE

DEAR WANTS TO EAT IN PEACE: Remind your frugal husband in advance that your anniversary is a special day, and you don’t want the evening ruined by his complaining about the cost of the dinner. When your special day arrives and you’re leaving for the restaurant, tell him sweetly that if he complains about the expense, he’ll be sleeping in the doghouse.



DEAR ABBY: I am (not by choice) the single mother of a beautiful 19-month-old daughter I’ll call Jenny. Jenny’s father, “John,” died in a car accident less than a year ago. His best friend, “Paul,” arranged a benefit with the proceeds to go to Jenny. That was last July. Jenny has yet to receive a dime of this money.

Paul never told me the exact amount that was raised, and he still has the money. I spend a lot of time with them, but I’m scared to ask. Paul and his wife are facing some big expenses, so I’m afraid they might “borrow” Jenny’s money. All of it was donated by family, friends and the people I work for.

I asked Paul’s wife about it the other day, and she said she would get back to me, but the expression on her face was unsettling. I’m afraid they’re going to use my daughter’s money to cover their expenses. I really want to get it out of their hands and put it in Jenny’s trust account. How can I keep the peace and still get what is due my daughter? – HOPEFUL IN OHIO

DEAR HOPEFUL: That may not be possible; however, your daughter’s future is more important than a potential argument. If the money that was raised for your daughter has been diverted, it may be considered fraud and embezzlement. For Jenny’s sake, please consult a lawyer and have the lawyer get the money plus an accounting.



DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is obsessed with large breasts and constantly “hints” that I should enlarge my 34Cs. Lately he has been coming home late and telling me that he’s been working overtime, when I know for a fact that he’s been hanging out with his ex-girlfriend, a stripper with 38DDs.

I love my boyfriend and don’t want to lose him, but I’m not sure about enlargement. If it’s the only way I can get him away from her, I guess I’ll do it. What do you think, Abby? – NOT BUSTY ENOUGH IN PHILLY

DEAR NOT ENOUGH: Rather than enlarging your breasts to satisfy his obsession, you’d be better served to enlarge your circle of boyfriends.



Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Good advice for everyone – teens to seniors – is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It.” To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)


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