DEAR ABBY: What do you think of a very intelligent 15 1/2-year-old girl, a straight-A student, who asks her noncustodial father to kill her mother’s boyfriend – which the father, of course, will not do?

This girl is not a gang member or on drugs. How do you justify this kind of thinking in a teenage girl, and how do you reconcile the fact that she claims to love her father while asking him to kill somebody for her? – CONCERNED IN NEVADA

DEAR CONCERNED: Either the girl has serious emotional problems, or she’s having serious problems with her mother’s boyfriend. I would not question the girl’s love for her father, but I would urge him to intervene and see that his daughter receives the help she obviously needs, including assuring that she’s out of reach of the boyfriend. She could have been emotionally abused or molested by him.



DEAR ABBY: My daughter, “Lisa,” is 18 and a freshman in college, has a part-time job in a local clothing store where she receives a 15 percent employee discount. I work in a beauty salon nearby, which allows me to see Lisa during her frequent visits to the shop.

One of my co-workers, “Francine,” has on numerous occasions cornered my daughter and asked her to buy things for her, using her employee benefit. This is strictly against store policy. When Francine asks me if Lisa is working on any given day, I ask her why, and she answers, “She’s supposed to let me know when ‘whatever’ goes on sale.” It’s not the truth.

If I confront Francine, it will cause tension, which will result in Lisa’s visits being less frequent. With our busy schedules, it’s the only time I get to see her some days. Is this something I should stay out of, or should I play “rescue mom” and get it over with? This has been going on for a few months now, and enough already! It’s tacky and rude. Francine is a co-worker, not a friend. How should this be handled? – FURIOUS IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR FURIOUS: Your daughter should not be risking her job so that Francine can get a good deal. I knew a personable and kind-hearted young man who was fired for doing what your daughter has been doing.

Have a talk with Lisa, and tell her that the next time Francine approaches her, she should tell the woman that she cannot do it because it’s against store policy, and she doesn’t want to lose her job. It’s the truth, and she shouldn’t feel guilty for saying it. She’s being taken advantage of. If Lisa is afraid to speak up, do it for her.



DEAR ABBY: I made the mistake of putting out a candy dish at work for clients who might stop in. One of my co- workers consistently takes candy – usually more than all the clients combined – and she’s not even supposed to be eating sugar!

Recently, my fiance and I decided to start saving for a house. We are on a tight budget, so I stopped putting out candy. My co-worker continually asks where her “treats” are. I have told her we’re trying to save for a house, and her reply was, “Oh, you poor baby. You should put out a collection jar for donations.” I don’t feel I should ask clients for donations, especially since she’s the one taking all the candy. Please advise me how to respond politely to her. I am out of ideas. – CONFIDENTIAL IN MARYLAND

DEAR CONFIDENTIAL: The next time your co-worker asks where her treats are, smile sweetly and tell her, “The concession is closed.”



Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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