This weekend, VH1 comes out of the gate quickly, with the first new reality shows of what’s sure to be a long, dull summer.

Don’t hate “Kept” and “Strip Search” because they’re first. Hate them because they’re bad.

These two programs, premiering Sunday night at 9 and 10 EDT, provide plenty of reasons for dislike.

“Kept” stars Jerry Hall in a gigolo twist on “The Bachelorette.” Twelve men compete for her favor – and her favors, which include a year as an escort and $100,000.

“Strip Search” is also targeted mainly at women, but is marginally less creepy. Billy Cross, founder of the Australian male revue “Thunder From Down Under,” goes across America to find seven guys to shape into a new All-American strip revue.

Cross is accompanied on his ambush-audition hunt by familiar VH1 host Rachel Perry, whose cuteness and enthusiasm know few boundaries.

“Strip Search” has the personalities of Cross and Perry as an asset, and marginal hints of the audition-training-competition structure of “American Idol.” But it’s not worth watching.

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