Take my wife, please: In one of the better deals in team history, Yankee pitchers Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson announced they had traded wives, two kids apiece, houses and even the family dogs (Kekich had a terrier, Peterson a poodle). Wonder if there were any “future considerations” in the deal.

Have some coke and a smile: Forget Jim Bouton’s book “Ball Four”, pitcher Steve Howe could pen his own novel and call it “Strike 7”. Howe was given chance after chance by the Yanks after being suspended for cocaine abuse. Finally, he was released, but not because of drugs, he couldn’t pitch anymore (or perhaps because he started to stop and try to snort the baselines in between innings). Dwight Gooden and Darryl Strawberry were also part of the Yankee cartel.

Roids are the rage: Yankee sluggers Jason Giambi and Gary Sheffield were both linked to the Balco Scandal. Giambi, who came to spring training in 2004 noticably smaller, said he had lost a “few pounds” by giving up fast food. Sheffield claimed he unknowingly used a steroid cream while training with Mr. Steroid, Barry Bonds.

Ruben Rivera: Once touted as a “five-tool” player, who would have ever known that Rivera would be most recognized for his ability to steal. In spring training of 2002, Rivera swiped a bat and glove from teammate Derek Jeter and sold them to a memorabilia dealer. He was released by the Yanks, who apparently approve of cocaine and steroid use, but draw the line at petty theft.

Family values: The Yankees asked Major League Baseball to declare their Sept. 2004 game with Tampa Bay a forfeit when the D-Rays voted to stay in Florida, where Hurricane Frances was approaching, instead of flying to New York for a game. Surprisingly, the league ruling actually went against the Yankees. Perhaps the D-Rays could have thought Yankee-like and traded their families for ones in safer places.

Put em up: After watching Pedro Martinez turn Don Zimmer into a human bowling ball during a brawl in Game 3 of the 2004 ALCS, the Yankees found somebody else to pick on. Reliever Jeff Nelson started a fight with Fenway Park groundskeeper Paul Williams in the Yankee bullpen. Williams was also jump by rightfielder Karim Garcia, who was found guilty along with Nelson and sentenced to community service for the attack.

Bye, Bye Babe: Everybody loves a good musical, and it was the Yanks who bought Babe Ruth from Sox owner Harry Frazee so he could finance “No, No Nanette.” Maybe they’ll take Manny so Theo Epstein can use the $20 million to support his career as a rock star.

Bombs away: The Yankees finally came to their senses and decided to build a new ballpark, scheduled to be ready for the 2009 season, ridding themselves of that urban toilet known as Yankee Stadium. Much like the Red Sox did with their World Series rings, the Yanks should hold a raffle to see who gets to throw the switch on “The House that Ruth Built”.

King George: 20 managerial changes (five times with Billy martin alone), 37 at pitching coach, 15 GMs, $200 million payrolls (and counting), and an elavator fight with two fans. The Boss has brought six World Series titles to the Bronx in his 32 years at the helm (a .187 batting average, which is about what Jeter hit in last year’s ALCS). But his real value comes in keeping miscreants like the ball-slapping A-Rod out of Boston.

The choke’s on them: In the biggest collapse in sports history, the Yanks blew a 3-0 series lead, losing Game 7 in convincing fashion, 10-3, at Yankee Stadium. The Sox carried the momentum into the World Series, where they swept the Cardinals. When Curt Schilling joined the Red Sox before the 2004 season , he said he looked forward to shutting up 55,000 New York fans. Mission acomplished, Curt.