Today, Li and her husband, Scott, own an enormous, 20-room farmhouse in Buckfield big enough to accommodate at least 30 people, so that’s what they do from time to time.

Family members on both sides travel great distances just to spend a holiday or vacation with the Gowells, who generally plan their major gatherings for Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Memorial Day and, occasionally, Independence Day. Their entertaining wasn’t always on such a grand scale, however.

Li smiles when she recalls Scott “always bringing someone home” when they lived in a more modestly-sized house.

“At times, people in our lives needed comforting and support, and they often ate meals with us,” she said. But the big switch came 13 years ago when they abandoned plans to build a home after discovering a house that they knew would become “the gathering place.”

“The largest motivating factor in buying the farm was the potential for family gatherings, anniversaries and weddings,” Scott said. “The farm is an important element. You certainly don’t need a farm like this to get together, but this has become a place for people to escape to, and gatherings work better having everyone all under one roof as opposed to coming in from different places.”

Even barn is used

With two, 40-foot-long enclosed porches providing additional space, as well as a fairly new barn that can serve as a recreational area or accommodate a wedding reception, the farm has stimulated these family gatherings.

“It helps the family come together,” he continued. “The gatherings are the big event that allows communication to flow.”

Prior to purchasing the farm, most of the family get-togethers took place at Li’s mother’s or aunt’s homes, but this place proved to be centrally located and the spot where they dreamed about someday hosting their daughters’ weddings.

“From the time we moved in, there have always been people here,” Li said. “There’s been a lot of impromptu feeding. People would roll in and out, and in the beginning it was more like that. I buy chicken when it’s on sale,” she quipped.

As the gatherings get larger – they hosted about 30 people last Christmas – the logistics get a little more complicated.

“In the beginning I just did it, but I was younger and had more energy, and the kids were young and just wanted to eat,” Li related. As time went on, the gatherings involved more family preparation as well, thanks in large part to Li’s brother-in-law, Charles Izzi, a former chef now teaching at Capitol Area Technical Center in Augusta, who’s accustomed to cooking for large groups.

“I remember in the beginning I was a little intimidated,” she said of her sister Lyn’s husband. “But he’s just a wonderful guy, and we began to share the kitchen duties. I’d chop and baste, and do whatever he wanted me to do.”

Each gathering is different, so the division of duties “depends upon who’s here and what they’re comfortable doing,” Li noted. Some are vegetable peelers and choppers, some are pie makers (usually Li), some are table setters and some are dish washers.

“Others socialize,” she added. “They’re more the lookers-on.” Since last Christmas was the largest so far, each family unit was responsible for preparing breakfast one morning, which turned out to be a delightful change and a “rolling social time” as folks drifted in for their repast.

Storeroom was full

Logistically, Chuck and Li are the masterminds of the larger gatherings, conferring on the menu and how to make it happen.

“For last Christmas, we sat together in late November and developed a menu for five days and 28 people,” Li said. “Because it was an extended time, we knew there would be work around it, so we listed everything.”

After some persuasion, Chuck convinced Li to forsake the china and use paper plates and cups. “That was hard for me, because I really love a beautiful table,” she admitted, “but it was much easier. It was a hard sell, but I caved.”

They had a storeroom packed full of food, paper products, rolls, tubs of fruit and whatever else was needed. “Lunch was at noon and supper at six,” she said, “and everyone would need to work around that.” Cleanup crews of the younger family members were divided into work groups under Scott’s direction, “and the way Chuck operates, he cleans up behind himself.”

“A lot of it, like the cooking business, is timing and organization,” explained Chuck. “You plan the menus and find food items that fit everyone’s palate. You do the cutting of vegetables and prep work ahead of time because you’re only working with three or four burners.”

Though it sounds simple, there are some adjustments even a professional chef has to make. “We had a request for a crown roast for last Christmas,” he recalled. To feed nearly 30 people, two pork roasts were needed, but they wouldn’t both fit the normal-sized oven in the Gowell kitchen.

“Luckily, they had a grill, so we did one that way,” he said. “Both came out well. But I think the one on the grill came out even better!”

It takes a mastermind

The Christmas guests “came in series,” said Li. “We had a buildup from the beginning, and each evening we welcomed the new group.” There were so many people that Chuck did a lot of the cooking at home and brought in meals – like chicken Marsala – already prepared.”

Although different segments of the family generally arrive for specific holidays, Christmas was unusual in that both sides came together. In preparation, Scott and his crew built two tables designed for the porch because their one large table was too small to accommodate everyone at the same time. Also, the Gowells have been collecting beds over the years so everyone stays at the farm, except for Lyn and Chuck who have their own place about 10 miles away.

“A lot of people have the desire to do this sort of thing,” Li said, “but we also have the space so it’s not that crowded. The only thing I worry about, and I’m getting better at this, is that someone has to be the mastermind.”

Each holiday gathering has its own identity and flavor. On Memorial Day, “if the men clean up, the women will start the bonfire for s’mores,” Li explained. “Then we have songs and tales. For Thanksgiving, the dinner always starts with toasting.” There’s caroling and hayrides at Christmas. The more formal occasions generally begin with a prayer. “It just depends on the group.”

Lyn Izzi says her favorite part of these gatherings is just having everyone come back together. “We’re so scattered in so many different directions, but when you get together, you feel like you haven’t skipped a beat.”

Her husband’s favorite time is Christmas Eve. Although Li is known and revered for her delectable fish chowder, those who are not enamored of seafood can sample Chuck’s chicken stew. “Then it’s just figuring who will bring the salads and dessert,” he said, “and it all falls into place.”

‘Always stuff going on’

Even though there’s a lot of work involved, Chuck says there is a great deal of satisfaction in knowing everything has come out well and that people enjoy it.

“You see these types of events on television and read about them in books, but they’re a dying art,” he continued. “It’s really the only time we get to communicate because we live such busy lives.”

Scott’s niece Kim Madey, her husband, Jeff, and their two young boys find it necessary to pile into the family vehicle and drive from North Carolina to Maine at least once a year.

“It’s just incredible. At Christmas, it was so much fun. There was always stuff going on,” she recalled. Circulating through and around the house was an adventure, simply because guests didn’t know what the next room would offer – there were groups playing cards, chatting, taking walks, going on hayrides or playing darts in the barn.

“My mom is Uncle Scott’s sister, and my husband and I went up for Memorial Day. That’s usually all of Auntie’s side, but it was so great because even though there are a lot I do know, the extended family is just amazing. I probably see them once in five years.”

Kim said one of the most unusual things they’ve done is make apple cider one Thanksgiving, but her best memory is the toasting prior to the Thanksgiving feast. “We all said what we were thankful for – we were so thankful to be together – there was not a dry eye in the place. My friends at home get so jealous that we have this place to go to. It’s God’s country. It’s just beautiful, even in February when it’s 20-below. They are truly two of the most special people in all our lives.”

Li and Scott Gowell have no plans to stop the gatherings any time soon.

“We all suffer, day to day, from fragmentation,” Scott acknowledged, “and so we’re disconnected from some of our family, and there’s something deep inside us that wants to be with the people we love. It’s all about people, making them happy and bringing them together. We don’t need anything back; it just feels right.”

“I guess we’re memory makers,” mused Li. “We’re received more notes from people about how wonderful and amazing and cooperative their experience was. It’s really the house. It takes people in and sorts them out.”