DEAR ABBY: My sons are on a football team with a group of young men I love dearly. They spend quite a bit of time at our house, and this has become almost like a second home to a lot of them.

My problem is I am married for the second time to a wonderful man whose name I adopted. My children have a different last name than my husband’s. My son’s friends (bless their hearts) always address me by my boys’ last name, “Mrs. Jones,” and they have even called my husband “Mr. Jones”!

I know they mean no disrespect, but I’m trying to find a way to fix this without making a big deal out of it. Can you help us? In this day and age, I’m sure it happens a lot, and many other men aren’t as understanding as my husband is about it. – EMBARRASSED IN NEVADA

DEAR EMBARRASSED: You and your husband should have corrected the boys the first time this happened. The next time the “team” visits and one of them calls you by the wrong name, smile and say, “I probably should have told you before, but Mr. Jones was my former husband. Please call my husband and me Mr. and Mrs. ‘Smith.”‘ If it’s said pleasantly, I’m sure it will upset no one.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old teenager who likes to baby-sit. I’m a hard worker and keep the children easily amused.

One of the families that I baby-sit for has a difficult child who is rather bratty, but I can control him very well. Recently, when they paid me, I noticed the amount was less than what I usually get. It is not the first time this has happened, and I have a feeling it won’t be the last.

How do I tell this family they are underpaying me? And should I drop them? – OVERWORKED AND UNDERPAID

DEAR UNDERPAID: The next time you are asked by the family to baby-sit, remind the parent that you charge so much an hour. Explain that you are saying this because you were not paid the full amount the last time, and you will expect to have the balance added to this bill. If the parents are cooperative – fine. If not, you have every right to drop them as customers and let them amuse their own “difficult, bratty” child on a night when they’d rather be doing something else.

DEAR ABBY: When I finally summoned the strength and fortitude to leave my abusive husband, I received the blessing of anonymous help, which was a tremendous comfort. The hugs and “Let me know if I can do anything” comments were thoughtful and no doubt heartfelt, but there was nothing that compared to the relief of coming home and finding a sack of goodies outside my door, or a gift card to the grocery store in my mailbox.

One angel-in-disguise sent me and the kids amusement park tickets, which thrilled us all. Another unknown Samaritan mailed me 50 $2 bills. Every time I pulled one out of my wallet those first scary days of trying my wings, I was touched by the underlying message, “You are not alone.” – GLAD I MADE IT IN CINCINNATI

DEAR GLAD: It appears you have some very practical and pro-active “angels” in your life. I’m printing your letter because I often receive questions from people wondering what they can do to help a friend who is in crisis or grieving – and your letter is filled with practical ideas on ways to be supportive. Thanks for the “upper.”

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.