BERKELEY, Calif. (AP) – A man charged in the shooting death of his close friend, an idealistic Ivy League college student, says nightmares haunt his sleep as he replays the horrific killing over and over in his mind.

“I wish I was dead rather than be in here,” Christopher Hollis said from jail.

Hollis is charged in the shooting death of Meleia Willis-Starbuck, a childhood friend and Dartmouth College junior who returned to her hometown of Berkeley this summer to work at a shelter for homeless women.

“I wish everything was different. I wish it every day,” Hollis, 22, said in an interview with the San Francisco Chronicle published Sunday. “I cry every single night. I even talked to a chaplain. I’m having terrible nightmares, every single night.”

Willis-Starbuck, 19, was killed July 17 near the University of California campus shortly after calling Hollis for help as she and her friends argued with a group of university football players. Police said she told Hollis to “bring the heat,” meaning bring a gun. Hollis was arrested in Fresno in late September after eluding authorities.

Hollis allegedly shot into the crowd, which included Willis-Starbuck, from a moving vehicle.

He recalled his friend fondly, and remembered their conversations.

“We would sit around and ask each other, Why do we like each other so much?”‘ Hollis said. “We couldn’t understand it. How did we become best friends? I think about it every day.”

Hollis’ attorney, John Burris, said Hollis meant only to scare the football players by firing over their heads, and that he accidentally struck Willis-Starbuck.

Hollis is also charged with assault with a deadly weapon for allegedly injuring a football player grazed by a bullet.

Christopher Wilson Jr., 21, faces the same charges for allegedly driving the car used in the shootings. Both men have pleaded not guilty.