DEAR ABBY: Won’t you please make your readers aware of male breast cancer? Men never have their breasts checked or check them themselves.

My husband was finally diagnosed after five months of “dilly-dallying.” He had a mastectomy and is now on medication prescribed for women because so little is researched for men.

“They” say that 4 percent of breast cancer patients are male. I say it’s probably more like 15 percent. Please inform your readers. – CHARLOTTE IN NORTHBROOK, ILL.

DEAR CHARLOTTE: I’m pleased your husband’s cancer was caught in time. After reading your letter, I contacted the American Cancer Society. It estimates that before 2005 is over, 1,690 new cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed among men in the United States. That’s compared to 211,240 cases in women, and less than 1 percent. Of course, if YOUR husband is in that fractional percent, it is one case too many!

I was also told that there are “too few men with breast cancer for doctors to study in clinical trials” – which is probably why your husband is receiving the same kind of treatment that women do. (This includes surgery, radiation, post-operative chemotherapy and/or Tamoxifen.)

As with any other cancer, the sooner it’s caught the better. And that is why men should routinely check themselves for lumps that could signify breast (or testicular) cancer.

DEAR ABBY: My sister is due to give birth any minute. We are all very excited. My brother-in-law, “Lyle,” started a “pool” where he works, choosing the date of birth and weight of the baby. It’s $20 to get in the pool. When I gave Lyle my $20 last night, I said, “I hope I win. I could really use a new refrigerator.” He replied, “No. Everyone else is either giving us all or half the money, and that’s the rule.”

This may seem petty, Abby, but I really need a new refrigerator. Of course, if I won I would give them SOME money, but to have my brother-in-law demand it seems rude and selfish. Am I wrong? If I win, Lyle will be upset and I don’t want any rifts during this wonderful time. But it seems to me that he’s actually collecting money because my sister is having a baby. I’ll abide by your decision. Am I being selfish? – NEEDS A FRIDGE IN ST. PETE

DEAR NEEDS: I don’t think you are being selfish – but you may be bucking a regional custom. Although I have never heard of collecting money for a baby pool and the winner being expected to donate the pot to the parents, one of my staffers has.

Putting that aside, however, if you win the baby- guessing game, in the interests of family harmony you should probably give them the money. The “donation” would be small potatoes compared to how costly the hard feelings would be.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single mom trying to make the right decision. I have been dating “Pete” off and on for nearly three years. He is now saying he wants us to move in with him and be a family – but he doesn’t want to get married until his daughter gets out of college. (She’s a senior in high school.)

I don’t feel he’s really ready to commit. Do you agree? – SUSPICIOUS IN SAN MARCOS

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: I do agree. In four years, you could find yourself hearing, “Wait ‘til she’s out of graduate school,” or “Let’s wait until she’s married.” If after three years he’s not ready to move forward, you should move on – not in.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.