Merry Christmas, everybody! And I mean that sincerely. Unless of course the specific Christmas greeting offends you. In which case, I’ll wish you a simple happy holiday. And I mean that sincerely. Unless of course you go about accusing me of caving in to extremists by paring out the mention of Christ.

In which case, I’ll just shut up and mutter something you can’t quite understand. And I’ll mean it sincerely.

It was never this complicated before. Back in the day, we went around spouting “Merry Christmas,” as though it were a simple phrase that wouldn’t get you screamed at, beaten or sued. If you offered the greeting to someone who, for one reason or another, did not observe the holiday, that person simply nodded, smiled and tipped his hat. Everyone wore hats back in the day. Which is why things were so much easier. If someone said something you did not completely agree with, you could simply tip your hat and get on with your life.

A tip of the hat

Hats have been replaced with ornery attitudes, and the news is dominated by what the president of our nation did or did not scrawl on his Christmas cards. I mean holiday cards. Whichever offends you the least. Note that I am tipping my hat this very moment.

I have never seen such an antagonistic holiday season since the Cabbage Patch pummelings of the 1980s. At least pugilistic displays over store-bought toys can be easily understood. It’s a matter of supply and demand. If your 10-year-old daughter has commenced screaming and doesn’t plan to stop until she gets that doll in her hands, it will boost your competitive spirit to warlike levels. You’ll be more likely to go a few rounds with a rotund stranger if the demand is that loud and the supply is that short. That’s simple economics.

This rage over how or how not to wish someone good cheer involves something deeper – something psychological and primitive. Religion has been a thorny matter since man first began worshipping beings greater than himself. And while it may seem comical to watch pundits scream about the issue on news programs, matters such as this tend to grow like tumors and eventually lead men to war.

It’s an outright battle involving two or three words. People are choosing sides and growing bolder about their defense of them.

Battling over peace

If you want to say “Merry Christmas” and another person tells you not to, you’ll put up your dukes to defend your tradition. If all things Christmas conflict with your religious or political views, you’ll get ready to rumble every time some misguided fool flings the sentiment in your direction.

You could just nod and keep moving, but you don’t. Because you have your rights, and you’re not going to take it any more. Because if broken down, Christmas means “Mass of Christ” and that’s just wrong. Or right, depending on who you talk to. And holiday clearly derives from “holy day” and you won’t have someone thrust their religion on you. No, sir.

Sadly, you can expect the chasm between the pious and staunch nonbelievers to grow wider with time. The separation of church and state will become more profound and complex as those on each side get hotter about defending their stance. There will be screaming and also bloodshed as atheists and the devout rage over their rights to live peaceful lives in accordance with their beliefs.

A Christmas greeting may become a criminal offense one day as the perceived importance of political correctness continues to rise like a tidal wave. Groups of people will go to battle rather than have an opposing word uttered about their individual beliefs.

I’ve seen the issue debated in print and on the late-night shows, and it’s very difficult to have sympathy for either side. No matter what their opinion, those doing the arguing express their views with such force and venom, you wonder about their mental well-being. They remind me of children on the playground arguing over who has the biggest, strongest dad.

Religion is a place made up of unpredictable ground and many pitfalls. I tread there lightly if I tread there at all. Personally, I don’t care if someone chooses Christ, God, Buddha, Allah, Frigga or a bunch of trees as a personal savior. If that person wishes me Merry Christmas, Seasons Greetings or a Joyous Winter Solstice, I’ll accept the good tidings for what they are: expressions of hope and good cheer.

I’d rather see people pulling hair and gouging eyes over the last Tickle Me Elmo on the shelf than warring over semantics. But who am I to say? I’ve been a fence-sitter since the beginning. I’m a live-and-let-live kind of guy. And I derive basic pleasure from the holiday season that has little to do with religious faith. I like the old Christmas songs, the nostalgic smell of pine, the hypnotic blinking of tree lights and the myriad uses for mistletoe. I really don’t care if someone chooses to call the holiday “Dogmas” or “Catmas” or “Mousemas.” It won’t change the way I perceive or celebrate the day. It won’t change the way I conduct myself the rest of the year, either.

I understand that not everyone has the same “to each his own” approach in matters such as these. And I realize the debate over terminology will run into the new year. My only response to those still screaming and stomping their feet will be uttered in mumbles under my breath.

And I mean that sincerely.

Mark LaFlamme is the Sun Journal crime reporter. Visit his blog at www.sunjournal.com.