Feeling gratitude toward others, and even life in general, has a positive effect on me. It makes me feel connected to others. It makes me feel a responsibility to share and contribute as a payback for what others have done for me. Gratitude is also a humbling experience. Seen correctly, it shows us that we are often dependent on others for the knowledge and skills we have.

Expressing gratitude properly can be a challenge. We don’t want to arouse suspicion of ulterior motives. We certainly don’t want to neglect the opportunity to share with others some of the prosperity their efforts or ideas has helped to create. Here are some suggestions on showing gratitude:

• Are you grateful for the education you have received? If so, consider contributing to or endowing a scholarship at those schools or institutions that you feel helped you become what you are today.

• Are you grateful to a coach, dance teacher, or music instructor? Consider volunteering or supporting the sport or arts of you choice? Time spent helping is often as valuable as, or more so, than a cash contribution.

• Are you grateful to your parents, a relative, a mentor, or other major person in your life? When was the last time you told them how glad you are that they are in your life? If the person is dead, tell them mentally. And, if possible, is there a way you can set up a legacy for that person? Can you remember the top 10 or 15 bits of advice they gave you? Print them up and distribute them.

• Are you grateful for a church or civic organization in your life? How do you choose and how often do you choose to show gratitude to it? Attendance, volunteering, financial assistance, mentoring, or teaching a class are all options.

• Like me, do you have contacts in your life that have helped you prosper in your occupation or service you render? Do you continue to remember them and thank them even after your dealings with them are done? Do it because of what they’ve allowed you to accomplish, not just because you think there is a chance they will work with you again or might be a good reference.

“Have an attitude of gratitude.” I heard and read that many times. It is one of those platitudes that is easy to say and its internal rhyme makes it lyrical. However, it does carry a strong and important message. Another saying I like that suggests gratitude is a Chinese Proverb: When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them. I am very glad we have farmers aren’t you?

Tim O’Brien writes continuing-education courses and presents seminars on stress management.

Readers may write to him at 3023 Shannon Lakes Dr., No. 102, Tallahassee, Fla. 32309, or send e-mail to [email protected]. He also has a Web site at www.hyperstress.com.