The Babe must say, she waxed warm and cuddly the first time her hubby bought matching his-and-hers flaming red plaid flannel mid-calf-length Irish grandfather’s nightshirts.

Lingerie for the ‘just say no’ generation

She was sure Mr. Babe had only her comfort in mind when he purchased the first set of chaste nightwear, but she began to wonder what mind he was in when he purchased, and, on Christmas Eve 2006, proudly reprised the present: two more flaming-red-plaid-flannel-mid-calf-length-Irish-grandfather’s nightshirts.

Mrs. Babe is going to reward Mr. Babe’s “thoughtfulness” by wearing – exclusively – one or the other of her identical flaming red flannel grandfather nightshirts to bed every hot-flash-free night of the year till the proverbial cows come home. Let the chill begin.

Sinking feeling

What’s worse than Mr. Babe giving Mrs. Babe the same gift two years in a row? Buying himself the same gift she gave him for Christmas last year, and then delightedly showing her his purchase. The Babe swears she heard the band playing and felt the deck tilting as she marched over to the bookcase to produce the evidence: A dust-covered copy of “The Titanic Revisited,” lovingly given to Mr. Babe on Christmas Eve 2005.

Scatterbrained

Now the Babe is not without sin in this – or many other – matters. She freely admits suffering from an occasional case of “rebuyer’s” remorse. A couple of years ago she bought the Babe-ette, a married 20-something living in the Boston area, a repeat edition of a party game and was “made aware” of her error by the Babe-ette. If what’s left of the Babe’s memory serves her well, that game was Scattergories.

Santa’s secret

And just this year, it was revealed to The Babe that back when she considered her memory one of her finest assets, she was apparently on the way to giving her sister-in-law a litter of silver dachshunds: For two consecutive years, her sister-in-law said, The Babe had given her a silver broach in the likeness of her beloved hot dog, Mini. Now lest readers think The Babe’s in-law ungrateful, she had kept this to herself since the first Bush was in the White House, and was only prompted to reveal it now, by The Babe pointing out how her husband, Mr. Babe’s brother, came to be given a “regifted” copy of “Titanic Revisited.”

Lesson from The Babe: Keep Christmas-shopping lists for seven years.

Into that good night

The Babe wishes to acknowledge her late-night “peeps and homies” for making her weekly early-early morning grocery shopping more of a pleasure and less of a pain. She extends a “thank you” to the stocking clerks who have been unfailingly cheerful when asked to locate products or retrieve out-of-reach top-shelf cans and bottles. She credits them with saving her from the certain bodily harm that comes when chunky women attempt ill-advised gymnastics just to procure the last bottle of sugar-free maple syrup from the back of the top shelf.

She wishes to especially thank cashier Louise, whose sense of humor, willingness to help and comforting “hon” and “dear” bring a smile to a weary Babe’s post-shift shopping. For the Babe’s money, a worker who can laugh, smile and help like she means it at 2:30 a.m. is worth her weight in gold.

And with that, The Babe wishes a Happy New Year and good buys to all in 2007.