DEAR MR. DAD: I need some advice on my situation with a single dad and his son. I’m a teacher and met the son in after-school care, and we really hit it off. One day he told me I should meet his dad because I would like him and he would really like me. I laughed.

Not long after that, though, I actually did meet the dad and there was instant connection. We started seeing each other but he’s become a little distant, saying his son is No. 1 and should have say in any potential relationship. I know we would all be good together. Should I try to organize an outing for the three of us or do I just have to give up on the whole thing?

Answer: From what your write, it sounds as if the three of you haven’t gotten together as a group yet. I’d keep it that way for a while, at least until you and the dad are sure that this is a relationship that’s got legs. It’s obvious that the boy likes you and is feeling very protective of his dad. While that’s very nice, it also means he’s becoming attached to you. If he were to see you and his dad as a couple, and then see you break up, he could be very upset. This doesn’t mean you can’t see the dad – just do it when the boy isn’t around.

The dad is right to put his son No. 1. But he’s wrong in giving the boy much of a say in potential relationships. That’s way too much power for a young child. Of course dad should listen to what his son says, and encourage him to talk, but take what he says with a grain of salt. Children often have great instincts about people, but they also have agendas of their own. That means that a lot of what the boy has to say about your relationship with his dad will ultimately be about what’s good for him (the son).

Be sure to take things slowly. You may feel that you’d all be good together, but don’t put any pressure on anyone. Let the relationship build and deepen naturally. And finally, be aware that the boy’s behavior could change. It can sometimes be a scary thing when wishes come true. He could suddenly see you as a threat to his relationship with his dad.

Armin Brott is the author of many best-selling books on fatherhood. His new DVD, “Toolbox for New Dads,” has just been released. You can find out more about it and Armin’s other resources for fathers at www.mrdad.com or by emailing arminmrdad.com. Try DaddyCast, his new, twice-weekly podcast (http://www.mrdad.com/daddycast)