Forty-one random Super Bowl thoughts, while I try to squeeze my old-school Andre Tippett jersey over the Ghost of Michelobs Past in preparation for a full day of pre-game revelry:

I. There is no, I repeat no appropriate reason for any New England Patriots fan to root for Peyton Manning to finally win The Big One, Part Two. He’s still unworthy to carry Tom Brady’s man-purse.

II. And I’m tired of hearing what a great guy Marvin Harrison is. He’s not a self-absorbed, look-at-me nitwit. I get it. Neither is Troy Brown.

III. You think the ads for GoDaddy.com are inappropriate for general audiences? Cover your kids’ ears when Jim Nantz of CBS serenades Peyton Manning. It’s almost as disturbing as John Madden’s affection for Brett Favre.

IV. Speaking of Favre, why does the same unpredictable, gunslinger approach that allegedly makes him so great make Rex Grossman allegedly awful?

V. I am happy to see Tony Dungy get his due. The success of his coaching family tree might eventually rival the two-headed Bill (Parcells and Belichick) in the quest to become the Bill Walsh of this era.

VI. Defense and special teams win playoff games, right? I’m just wondering why the Colts are favored by a touchdown and not the other way around.

VII. Regardless of what happens in the final two minutes today, if Adam Vinatieri isn’t enshrined in the Hall of Fame five years after his retirement, I’m never visiting.

VIII. I’m a sports geek, but previewing this game on Madden ’07 gives you a win over me by TKO.

IX. Super Bowl rings as a QB measuring stick are overrated. Dan Marino doesn’t have one. Mark Rypien and Trent Dilfer do. Once you get to bling-times-two or three, it’s no longer a coincidence.

X. Still not buying the Indy defense. Brady and his band of high school wideouts moved the ball at will.

XI. Twenty-one years later, “The Super Bowl Shuffle” video never fails to make me laugh out loud.

XII. If Raymond Berry had started Steve Grogan in that game, it would have made a tremendous difference: 37-17 instead of 46-10. Walter Payton might have scored his rightful TD instead of The Fridge.

XIII. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this sad time warp of a halftime show.

XIV. U2 in 2002 was our only chance to a still-relevant band after the potty break.

XV. Devin Hester will score a touchdown today in a way that will make you spit out your drink.

XVI. How long before Reggie Wayne signs on as someone else’s No. 1 receiver and is a bust?

XVII. This two-headed running back thing is weak. Emmitt Smith’s idea of taking a breather was watching Moose Johnston dive ahead for three yards on second-and-2.

XVIII. If you’re 25 or younger, take my word for it: The 1985 Bears really were that great.

XIX. It all fell apart in about three years, though. I hope we all appreciate what the Pats accomplished.

XX. Brian Urlacher, on the other hand, is only very good.

XXI. I don’t covet many players, but I’d love to see Brady throwing to Dallas Clark someday.

XXII. My favorite Super Bowl not involving the Patriots: Giants 20, Bills 19.

XXIII. George Halas never would have held his fans hostage and moved his team out of town in Mayflower trucks under cover of night for the promise of a new stadium.

XXIV. Over-under on the start of insipid ESPN dynasty talk if the Colts win: 4.9 seconds.

XXV. Two seconds later, some bandwagon bozo will pick Titans-Saints as next year’s match-up.

XXVI. Olin Kreutz (Bears) and Jeff Saturday (Colts) are two of the best players none of us know about.

XXVII. By the time you read this, there’s a 50-50 chance that another Cincinnati Bengal just got arrested in Miami.

XXVIII. Most conveniently ignored stat of the postseason: Manning’s six interceptions to Grossman’s one.

XXIX. I move that we switch Labor Day to the day after the Super Bowl. Can I get a second? All in favor?

XXX. Bears kicker Robbie Gould didn’t make a 50-yarder all year. Food for thought if it’s 24-21 late.

XXXI. Five bucks says CBS finds a way to work Tony Romo or Terrell Owens into the pre-game show.

XXXII. Time Warner still isn’t carrying NFL Network. I spit in their general direction.

XXXIII. How come nobody’s talking about the thumb Manning nearly broke against the Patriots?

XXXIV. Manning’s backup is a guy named Jim Sorgi. No kidding.

XXXV. Grossman’s backup is Brian Griese. But you already knew that. The way some fans and announcers clamored for him this year, it almost made me forget he is a gravy training journeyman.

XXXVI. I’m expecting more touchdowns than turnovers this year, but not by much.

XXXVII. Miami gets the Super Bowl again in three years. At least it’ll be a neutral site.

XXXVIII. Lovie Smith will either be a very rich man or a very rich man coaching the Cowboys by Feb. 15.

XXXIX. Sorry, Panthers or Seahawks fans, but Colts-Bears feels like a good, old-fashioned NFL title game.

XL. It would feel better if those AFL refugees with the Flying Elvis on their helmets were in it.

XLI. Bears 24, Colts 19. Let the game begin, already.

Kalle Oakes is a staff writer. He can be reached by e-mail at [email protected]


Only subscribers are eligible to post comments. Please subscribe or to participate in the conversation. Here’s why.

Use the form below to reset your password. When you've submitted your account email, we will send an email with a reset code.