Relationships need good quality maintenance all year long. At the same time, since spring in finally here, I though it would be a good time to offer a few “fix-it-up” tips for your relationship.

• Date your spouse – Just about every successful couple I know has a regular date night. Whether weekly or monthly is not as important as having a regular time both of you can count on.

• Say I love you often – If you have been together a year or 20 years, these are always three magic words.

• Learn and speak your partner’s love language. Does you partner most need to see it, hear it or feel it?

• Apologize when you need to – We all mess up sometimes. The quicker we clean it up so we can move on, the better.

• Chore charting – For one month, take over a chore your partner hates. Don’t tell them what you are going to do, just do it.

• Use your database – If you have been with someone for more than a month, you have a good database of information about them. What they like, don’t like, how they like to be treated, etc. Use it.

• Appreciate what you want to see more of – Verbally, out loud, appreciate something about your partner each day.

• Good manners – It does not matter how long you have been together, good manners are still important. Saying “excuse me” when you need to get by someone is still much better than “move.”

• Get naked – So many couples with whom I coach tell me the same sad story. Sex is just not the same and/or no longer exists. Many couples have no idea how to rekindle the spark. Here is the simple advice I often give – get naked under the covers and just hold each other. Put aside all the fears and resentments and expectations and just hold each other.

• Surprise each other – avoid being way too predictable. Buy a gift, plan a trip, come home early, surprise your partner.

• Dream together – Do you know the dreams of your partner? Know and support the dreams of your partner. Share them and support them.

• Own your part – each person in a relationship has a contribution to the good stuff and a contribution to the bad stuff as well. You gotta own both to keep what you want and change what needs changing.

• A work in progress – Marriage, or any other long-term love relationship, is a work in progress with a life time contract. Always keep learning and loving.

Jeff Herring, MS, LMFT, is a marriage and family therapist. E-mail him at [email protected] or, for more tips and tools for living you can visit www.JeffHerringOnline.com.