Bowling: USBC Queens

1 p.m., ESPN

The tournament’s in Charlotte, so your guess about the name is good as mine. Will we see women bowlers? Dudes wearing prom dresses? Disadvantaged New York City school children? The mind races.

MLB: Braves at Red Sox

2 p.m., ESPN

Time subject to change if Saturday’s rain forces a separate admission tripleheader.

NHL: Ducks at Red Wings, Game 5

3 p.m., Channel 6

Inspired by Roger Clemens, both Steve Yzerman and Gordie Howe sign on for the remainder of the playoffs. Nielsen share outside Detroit leaps from 0.2 to 0.25.

PGA: AT&T Classic

3 p.m., Channel 13

And you wonder why the Euros might as well retire the Ryder Cup. Check out this Tiger-starved, Phil-free leader board and it’ll clear up everything.

NBA: Jazz at Spurs, Game 1

3:30 p.m., Channel 8

In the grand tradition of Karl Malone and John Stockton, this is the beginning of Utah’s end.

Mother’s Day Miracle: Sox-Orioles

6 p.m., NESN

It’s overkill, considering the game was played a week ago. But it beats the crap out of them showing Roger Clemens’ 20-strikeout game against the Tigers after last Wednesday’s rainout.

MLB: Yankees at Mets

8 p.m., ESPN

There is no good excuse for watching this game unless you are holding a voodoo doll.

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