DEAR ABBY: What is the inside secret to men? I’m a 25- year-old, attractive woman, and I’m confused. There’s this guy I’m interested in, and although I believe he’s flirting with me, I still have no number or date. (This guy is single.)

In the modern world we live in, do guys really want the female to make the first move? Or should I stick to the traditional rules and wait? – JILL IN PERTH AMBOY, N.J.

DEAR JILL: There is no “secret” to men. And it’s not uncommon for women to suggest going out these days. I have certainly never heard a man complain to be asked! The person you have described may be shy, he may be involved with someone, or he may just be a flirt.

The surest way to find out would be to suggest going out and see how he reacts.

DEAR ABBY: My youngest son was married in Las Vegas five weeks ago. We told him and his wife that we’d have the wedding reception at our home, and we’re planning to do so.

At this same time, my husband and I have bought a new home, and we’d like to share it with our friends as well. We would like to do both on the same day.

I want to convey to our guests that no gifts are expected for the reception, as many do not know my son, and at our age, no housewarming gift is needed either. How do I tactfully let them know this, and is it all right to do both parties on the same day and make it casual with outside eating? – PROUD MOM IN HOUSTON

DEAR PROUD MOM: The polite way to discourage gifts would be to tell your prospective guests verbally – not on an invitation – that “the gift of their presence is all that you need,” for the reason that you stated.

However, I recommend that you rethink having a combination housewarming and wedding reception for your son and his wife.

A celebration of their special day should not be in conjunction with a housewarming where people your son has never met would be in attendance. This is an occasion that should be celebrated with THEIR friends and family.

DEAR ABBY: I work in a nursing and rehabilitation center as a certified nursing aide. There are a few wives who come in at every meal to assist their spouses with eating, so we see and talk to them often.

We don’t get “close” with them, but I think all of the staff considers them more than just visitors. Recently one of the residents whose wife always came in passed away. What is the proper thing to say or do in a situation like this?

I wanted to give her a hug and tell her I was sorry for her loss. But I know when I’m upset, a hug only makes me feel worse. – RACHELLE IN PORT HURON, MICH.

DEAR RACHELLE: Write the widow a short condolence note, telling her what a caring wife she was and what a difference she made in her husband’s life during his illness.

Tell her you are sorry for her loss, that she will be missed at the rehabilitation center, and that you hope the rest of her life will be a healthy and happy one.

I am sure it would mean the world to her.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Copy the Story Link