LUST, RAIN O’ER ME

Some Indianapolis 500 loyalists are upset that the race was shortened by rain for the second time in four years. Clearly these complainers are not men who watched ABC’s coverage and saw gratuitous glimpses of Ashley Judd in a wet sundress.

RUSH-ED INTO SURGERY

First, Kansas guard Brandon Rush backed out of the NBA draft. Then we found out he’d torn his right ACL in a pick-up game. Why do I get the feeling that wasn’t the original order of those two events?

OVER MY DEAD TENURE

NHL commissioner Gary Bettman insists that the Nashville Predators won’t relocate even if their sale to a Canadian billionaire is completed. Easy to understand why Bettman is nervous. The redneck demographic is essential to the success of his TV contract with Versus.

POISON IVY

Exonerated Duke lacrosse player Reade Seligmann will transfer and play lacrosse at Brown. Hey, at least it’s a notch above Bryant, which is where Seligmann’s poor coach landed on his feet in the same state after becoming the first victim of this witch hunt.

MODEST PROPOSAL?

Kobe Bryant now says he was only making a “suggestion” that the Lakers re-hire Jerry West as general manager, not saying his future with the team depended on it. Truth is, Kobe just had too much time to think while the players who really have that kind of leverage have spent a month fighting for a championship.

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