Gross error in judgement

A $300,00 Lamborghini belonging to Chicago Bears linebacker Lance Briggs was found abandoned along a highway early Monday morning after it was crashed into a light pole. Regardless of whether Briggs is eventually found to have been the driver, Bears fans will blame Rex Grossman.

The corner’s back

Asante Samuel ended his holdout with the New England Patriots Monday. Samuel may have thought protesting the lack of a long-term deal was a convenient excuse to miss the dreaded OTAs and two-a-days, but somehow, Bill Belichick will find a way to make up what he missed.

Pigs now fly

Five hundred athletes have been tested at the world track and field championships over the past seven days and not one has tested positive for doping. Either we’ve entered a new era in international athletics or all the PED manufacturers decided to go out of business once Barry Bonds his No. 756.

His partner will be David Stern

Mark Cuban is slated to become a cast member on Dancing with the Stars in September. ABC executives now have a back-up plan if the first few episodes of the reality series perform poorly in the ratings – bring Tim Donaghy on board as a judge.

Looks like I’ve lost three teeth, Jim

CBS golf commentator Ian Baker-Finch was hit in the face by an errant Rich Beem shot on the 18th hole at Sunday’s final round of The Barclays. Ever the pro, Baker-Finch even whispered “Ouch” into his microphone when he was hit.

Can’t get out soon enough

First Japan loses the Little League World Series final on a walk-off homer, then the bus carrying them and the team from Taipei to the airport caught fire early Monday. Fortunately, none of the children were hurt, but the chances of the Japanese team organizing a reunion pilgrimmage to Williamsport 25 years from now are pretty remote.

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