MELVILLE, N.Y. – Although she and her husband had many reservations, Laila Petruzziello allowed her now-12-year-old daughter, Marissa, to stay home alone after school last year. Petrzziello had obtained a full-time job and, she says, “We had no choice. My husband worked in Manhattan, and it was difficult to find after-school care.

“We live in a wonderful neighborhood,” says Petruzziello, but one of their biggest fears was the short walk Marissa had to make from the bus stop to the house.

Assessing the general safety of your community is one of the first things to do when considering whether your child can be home alone, says Tim Jahn, program director for the Family and Consumer Sciences Program at Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County. Is your neighborhood safe? Is your home isolated? Do you know your neighbors? Do the doors in your home lock and unlock efficiently? Do you have a home alarm system?

These are points adults must address immediately. But only your child can answer a crucial question which must not be avoided: How would he feel about staying home alone?

Ask your child that question, Jahn says, because “some kids aren’t that comfortable with it.” And if that’s the case, other alternatives can be explored. For example, maybe you can arrange for your child to go home with a friend every day or to a neighbor’s house, or perhaps a teenager can baby-sit.

While some children enjoy the solitude and independence that stem from being home alone after an active day at school, others may find themselves lonely, bored or afraid. “I was a little hesitant at first, and the first couple of weeks it was a little scary,” Marissa says. But rather than panic, Marissa says, when she’d hear scary noises, she’d go upstairs to the comfort of her bedroom. Or she’d call one of her parents when her fears got the best of her.

That’s using good common sense. And making sure your child has that ability will help parents determine whether he can handle being alone at home, Jahn says. If your child is usually absent-minded, and, for instance, might forget to lock the front door behind him once he’s in the house, or might answer the telephone when instructed to let the answering machine pick up the call, he may not yet be a good candidate for staying home alone.

Also, consider whether your child is generally responsible. Will she do her homework if that’s what is expected of her? Will she use the stove if expressly told not to? What about the Internet? Children who are home alone and use the Internet without adult supervision are particularly vulnerable to online predators and other potentially harmful situations.

If you are unsure about how your child will respond to these sorts of issues, do a test run on a weekend and leave him alone for a few hours. You can even create a few rules, such as not answering the phone when it rings, and then call your house to see if he picks up. Or “show up a little earlier and knock on the front door,” Jahn suggests.