A little brain teaser, sports fans

Let’s assume LSU wins out the rest of the way, including the SEC championship game. Same for Oregon, although there is no Pac-10 title tilt. And either Oklahoma or Kansas does the same in the Big 12.

Who plays in the BCS title game, and why?

I say LSU and Oklahoma, and the reasoning is pretty simple.

Remember that early-season game in Oregon a couple Septembers ago, when the official looked at the video of a fateful play in the Oregon-Oklahoma game and later admitted he blew the call?

Tell me the Sooners don’t deserve some sort of cosmic payback for that.

Not to mention, they’re owed something for these BCS geniuses pairing them with Boise State in last year’s Fiesta Bowl. Talk about cruel and unusual punishment. That’s like the San Antonio Spurs tearing through the Lakers, Mavericks and Suns in the playoffs, only to have NBA Commissioner David Stern call Gregg Popovich and say, “Um, sorry, but in order to get your trophy, you’ll also have to beat the Harlem Globetrotters in a best-of-seven.”

If all that circular logic isn’t satisfactory, try this: I think LSU and Oklahoma are both better than Oregon. And clearly that’s what the ridiculous system in place is all about: What some overfed, regionally biased, slightly inebriated sportswriters, sleep-deprived coaches and computer programmers think.

Now onto some games that could change what I think in a matter of hours.

Ohio State at Michigan – So I keep hearing that this game lost its luster when OSU asphyxiated against Illinois and Michigan neglected to show up at Wisconsin. Last time I checked, it was still for the Big Ten title and a trip to the Rose Bowl. That used to be a big deal, you know.

Maybe that’s the solution. We need to go old-school. Send LSU to the Sugar Bowl, Oklahoma to the Orange Bowl, Oregon and Ohio State to the Rose Bowl and declare the good, old-fashioned split, mythical national championship if that doesn’t sort it out. Because mythical is all we have now, anyway. No playoff is no playoff.

After picking Michigan to win this game in print for eight consecutive weeks, I just don’t see it happening. It still comes down to Jim Tressel vs. Lloyd Carr, just like it used to come down to Bo Schembechler vs. Earle Bruce or Anybody vs. John Cooper. Ohio State, 24-21.

Kentucky at Georgia – The Bulldogs suddenly look like the team that could screw up LSU’s plans in two weeks. And it was Kentucky who did the Tigers a favor by handing them that one loss early in the season, so we’d all forget about it. That’s about the only symmetry I can find in this game between two teams headed in opposite directions, both to their customary place in the SEC batting order. Georgia, 38-17.

Boston College at Clemson – Did any of those voters who signed a ballot ranking the Eagles first, second or third in the nation three weeks ago actually believe it? Will any member of the Heisman electoral college who scrawls Matt Ryan’s name into one of those three blanks actually believe it? No, and no. Clemson, 31-17.

West Virginia at Cincinnati – I guess the Mountaineers are what the talking heads like to call controlling their own destiny. What a stupid, say-nothing statement. Not to be persnickety, but whether you believe in God, Karma or Knute Rockne, not one of us has a scintilla of control over our fate for one nanosecond on this planet. Not to mention that the Big East is pretty much a godforsaken conference, so all bets are off. West Virginia, 28-23.

Louisville at South Florida – Two schools that scared up a whole lot of support in the national polls the last two years and saw it amount to a whole lot of nothing. South Florida, 48-41.

Oklahoma at Texas Tech – Hopefully the College Football Hall of Fame didn’t waste much time setting up the Navy-North Texas display, because the points scored in this game could make Billy Tubbs jealous. Oklahoma, 74-49.

Miami at Virginia Tech – The Hurricanes are well on their way to becoming Pittsburgh or Temple, a commuter school without the adequate resources to compete in big-time football. Virginia Tech, 45-3.

Northwestern at Illinois – Fighting Illini’s resurgence shouldn’t surprise anyone. Ron Zook recruited the players that won a national title at Florida. Illinois, 34-20.

Duke at Notre Dame – Ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! HAAAAA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Notre Dame, 3-2.

Maryland at Florida State – Nik Caner-Medley vs. Ralph Mims? FSU, 22-17.

Penn State at Michigan State – Joe Paterno is old enough to remember when the Spartans were great. Upset special #1 Michigan State, 29-24.

N.C. State at Wake Forest – BC fans will miss Tom O’Brien in a year or two. Upset special #2 N.C. State, 24-10.

California at Washington – Bears are much too good to lose five a row. Cal, 34-13.

Harvard at Yale – Because it matters more than LSU-Ole Miss. Yale, 31-28.

Last week: 10-5 (.667). Season: 103-57 (.644). Upset specials: 9-10 (.473)

Who beat Kalle? Deborah Blais, Lewiston (12-2)