There’s nothing jolly about the fat guy in the red suit. Time for Santa Claus to go

Why on earth would anyone want to resist Santa Claus?

That’s a good question, and the growing number of groups and individuals in our global village who promote this, for a variety of reasons, have rational answers.

Some of us love the original St. Nicholas while other Santa-resisters think the good news of Jesus is an outworn myth itself. Whatever the case, we all agree that Santa is no longer welcome at our holiday party and we’ve finally found the courage to just say no to the Ho Ho Ho.

One thing to clarify, most of us are not anti-Christmas, or anti-children whatsoever.

Nor is ASLaN’s Belschnickle a Nazi, as one disturbed mother shouted during his silent protest recently at the jovial Parade of Lights in Lewiston-Auburn.

So, in the good spirit of anti-Claus, the ASLaN Society offers this food for holiday thought.

Resist the guilt of the “Santa Trap.” Not all expectations are great, especially when they come with so many strings attached! A visitor from Mars to America’s malls might think that shoppers resemble marionettes attached to the strings of carefully-manufactured “needs.”

Don’t let guilt-induced stress affect the great blessing of giving. Simple can be good; it may even be better.

Resist the “Santa Cult.” Sociologists have pointed out the Santamization of December has profoundly religious elements. Consider these: iconic images of the Great Santa appear nearly everywhere, children bow on bended knee before him, worshippers praise him round evergreen trees in town squares, and filmmakers make him hagiographic tributes.

All the while many religious leaders dare not speak ill of him, fearing his wrath.

Smash the remote and take back control of your Christmas. Whether we sanctify it as holy, or just enjoy it for what it once was, a wonderful winter solstice excuse to eat, drink, and be merry – it’s time to knock Claus from his counterfeit throne.

Resist the “Beijing Branch” of Madison Avenue. Christmas may have roots in Europe, but these days “Made in China” is clearly stamped on Santa’s butt. Retailers import a huge percentage of toys and trinkets from Chinese factories and whistle Jingle Bells all the way to Hong Kong banks while China’s Communist rulers continue to act like King Herod.

Beware the Santa sales pitch; make or do something for Christmas yourself for the ones you love.

Resist the temptation of lying so blatantly to children. Don’t believe it when you hear it’s “OK” to pretend some fat red guy from Hollywood actually cares about kids.

Saint Nicholas is real, and he proved his love for children with his deeds. Santa Claus has become a spiritually bloated beast, and the spirit of Mammon that he promotes is evident in his subtly sugar-coated message of greed.

Resist the schmaltz! If the prophet Isaiah could see what American marketers and artists have done with his prophecies, he’d start “Jews Against Santa.” Santa Schmanta, who needs Santa? It isn’t his party.

After all, it is the birthday of the Lord Jesus Christ that is specifically mentioned in the U.S. Constitution, not the imaginary Santa.

Resist the Santa hangover that hits many Americans like a Mack truck when they wake-up from the excesses of what C.S. Lewis called “Exmas.” Maybe we Santaholics could slow down, abstain from shopping for a moment, and try to distinguish between needs and wants.

Resist cultural conformity. You don’t need to be a culture jammer to join the resistance. There are many ways to withstand the annual Exmas insanities. Seek them and you will find them.

It is bizarre, and it borders on the immoral, to seclude our children into some fuzzy Santa cocoon each winter and pretend that crises like world hunger, AIDS orphans, Islamic Jihad or the genocide in Darfur have taken a holiday from their campaign of despair and destruction.

Santa is not going to save our civilization folks.

Lastly, resist the Santification of the Incarnation! Never mind putting Christ back into Christmas (as though he ever left!) – it’s time to kick Santa out of Christmas! The eternal Word made flesh for our salvation is the most amazing event in history, but a sleepy people have let this feast become prostituted. St. Nicholas surely must weep.

Citizens, be soldiers: join the war on Santa.

His bogus but well-heeled kingdom is teetering under the weight of its own absurdities.

Walter Skold is a poet and human rights activist from Maine who founded the International Anti-Santa Love-Nicholas Society in 1995 while living in northern China. He lives in Freeport.