Texans (-1) 34, Broncos 26

Broncos punter, and former Patriot, Todd Sauerbrun was cited for simple assault Saturday after getting drunk and hitting a cab driver in the back of the head when the cabbie asked him to get out. I wonder if that cabbie is going to have a bumper sticker made “Mean Punters Suck.”

Bengals (-8) 43, 49ers 16

San Francisco QB Alex Smith and head coach Mike Nolan are denying reports of a rift between them. Meanwhile, in Cincinnati, Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis is denying reports that he is a candidate for the vacant head coaching job at the University of Michigan. And you thought Michael Vick fans were the only ones in denial.

Seahawks (-7) 40, Panthers 23

How much longer can John Fox use his Super Bowl XXXVIII cache to keep his job with Carolina?

Browns (-5.5) 27, Bills 17

In terms of playoff implications, this is the Game of the Week in the NFL. Which tells you all you need to know about this season.

Titans (-4) 37, Chiefs 20

Coming off a crushing loss, Tennessee couldn’t have asked for a better opponent to begin salvaging its slim playoff hopes.

Dolphins (+3) 6, Ravens 3

Baltimore has been humiliating itself since the final moments of the Patriots game two weeks ago. Why stop now?

Saints (-3.5) 31, Cardinals 21

The winner still has a shot at the playoffs. The loser earns a spot in the PapaJohn’s.com Bowl.

Steelers (-4) 24, Jaguars 20

Want to gain some credibility, Anthony Smith? Guarantee that you’ll be out of the league within two years.

Packers (-9.5) 35, Rams 22

Speaking for myself, watching the emergence of Ryan Grant has been double the fun. First, he’s been the sleeper on my fantasy team. Second, he’s making Giants fans miserable because they had him and let him go for nothing.

Buccaneers (-12) 30, Falcons 17

Bobby Petrino did the right thing. Leaving Atlanta for Arkansas is a step up on the career ladder.

Patriots (-24.5) 3, Jets 0

If not for the Nor’easter in the forecast, I’d go with 136-0 or something like that. But because of the elements, Bill Belichick is going to toy with the Jets in new and original ways. The Jets will only have the ball once, either to start the game or the second half. The Patriots will run the clock out the rest of the clock With numerous timely penalties, it can be done. Then Belichick will bring out a snow plow for the game-winning field goal with no time left.

Colts (-10.5) 37, Raiders 17

Spare me the talk that the Colts’ pasting of the Ravens last week as a statement game for Indy. Baltimore was used up after its loss to New England, and like so many of the Pats’ opponents, including the Colts, couldn’t muster any energy and emotion the following week.

Chargers (-9.5) 20, Lions 10

Does it make me a bad person if my respect for Jeff Fisher would increase if it is eventually revealed that he did indeed put a bounty on Shawne Merriman last week?

Cowboys (-10) 32, Eagles 22

Last week’s ending against the Giants should convince everyone that Philadelphia is the most snakebitten sports city in America.

Giants (-4) 24, Redskins 17

Was I the only one who thought the Todd Collins that played QB for the Redskins last week was the old Patriot linebacker?

Vikings (-9.5) 28, Bears 13

Kyle Orton gets the nod at QB for the Bears this week. His father, Cowboy Bob, must be proud.

Last week: 13-3

Season: 129-77