Thirty-two bowl games equals, by my one, quick, rough estimate, at least eight contests involving a team with an interim coach.

The do-gooders and utopians in the congregation paint this pattern as some sort of epidemic. And it is, admittedly, a reflection of two trends.

Either one coach used his success at one program as the springboard to a higher-paying job or what he perceives as a better one, or something between six and nine wins wasn’t good enough for the boosters who persuaded school administrators to can the old boss.

I’m just wondering why nobody wants to talk about the second scenario, because it’s far more frequent than the occasional case of Bobby Petrino, Nick Saban, Rich Rodriguez or Les Miles (not yet, but inevitably in a year or two) skipping town under cover of darkness.

Loyalists of the Big East’s West Virginia Mountaineers or NFC South’s Atlanta Falcons – you decide which job is more prestigious – are crying foul because their respective coaches escaped Dodge while the ‘scapin was good.

Rodriguez abandoned WVU two weeks before the Fiesta Bowl to take the Michigan job that Miles only turned down to prove Kirk Herbstreit wrong, and wasn’t elite enough to persuade Greg Schiano to forsake (gulp) Rutgers.

Petrino became the most incendiary personality in Atlanta since William Tecumseh Sherman by ditching the Falcons with a letter and a phone call to woo, “pig, suey” himself to death in a midnight news conference as the new head coach at Arkansas.

Those “it’s not you, it’s me” breakups received infinitely more attention than last month’s news conference at Texas A&M, where Dennis Franchione sat next to his boss with everything but a gun to his head and announced his “resignation” after slapping the snot out of rival Texas for the second straight year.

Or similar scenes at Georgia Tech and UCLA, where Chan Gailey and Karl Dorrell each guided their teams to another bowl game and were hailed as great guys even as the ink dried on their severance packages.

Do you think for one nanosecond that if BCS-fixture-by-default West Virginia slipped to 7-5 and third in the Big East two years from now that a handful of filthy-rich alumni wouldn’t be clamoring for Rodriguez’s head?

And if the Falcons were 3-10 at this point next year – which would be a minor miracle, given the post-Michael Vick disarray of that franchise – would owner Arthur Blank have even blinked if he decided to jettison Petrino and let an interim coach mind the store for the final three games while getting a head start on the next hiring?

Of course not. College coaches are held to an immeasurably higher standard than their employers, players or fans. It’s a free country. Regardless of his salary, the coach at West Virginia or Navy or Houston has the same right to seek a greener pasture that you or I do.

Speaking of green, it’s time to reluctantly acknowledge the money-grubbing bowl system by picking the 32 (Thirty-two! And Notre Dame still couldn’t get in one?) bowl winners.

Enjoy the games, meaningless as most of them are. Think of it as a little something to watch while the NFL and cable companies hold the Patriots-Giants game hostage.

BCS – Sing it with me, kids: One of these teams just doesn’t belong here LSU 24, Ohio State 13.

Fiesta – Petrino made it harder for Bob Stoops to get an NFL job. Oklahoma 35, West Virginia 20.

Sugar – The only worse matchup for the Warriors would have been USC. Georgia 44, Hawaii 28.

Rose – Third-place team from a bad Big 10 gets to play in the granddaddy. Southern Cal 34, Illinois 17.

Orange – Missouri gets another eight months to complain. Virginia Tech 23, Kansas 10.

Cotton – When did this stop being a major bowl? Arkansas 31, Missouri 28.

Capital One – When did this start being a major bowl? Florida 38, Michigan 17.

Gator – Mel Kiper Jr. projects Howie Long’s kid as the Patriots’ top draft pick. Texas Tech 27, Virginia 16.

Outback – Little hint of what you can expect in the BCS title game. Tennessee 27, Wisconsin 6.

Chick-Fil-A – Winner advances to the Cinnabon/Sbarro Food Court Championship. Auburn 17, Clemson 9.

Holiday – Historically the most entertaining second-tier bowl. Texas 38, Arizona State 27.

Music City – On the other end of the loyalty spectrum, FSU continues to have the patience of Job with its doting legend, Bobby Bowden. Kentucky 34, Florida State 28.

Champs Sports – So you’re telling me if there had been no ACC title game, the Eagles would be in the Orange Bowl? What a rip-off. BC 27, Michigan State 17.

Sun – Behold, the power of one major ligament. Oregon 24, South Florida 21.

Las Vegas – Are Brigham Young players allowed within a five-mile radius of a casino? UCLA 24, BYU 23.

Insight – I have none when it comes to this game. Oklahoma State 27, Indiana 13.

Armed Forces – Almost blasphemy to pick a service academy to lose this one, but Cal 20, Air Force 17.

Alamo – Yes, the Big 10 is that bad. Texas A&M 24, Penn State 22.

Independence – Bear Bryant and Bill McCartney are rolling over in their graves. Oh, wait. Coach Mac is still alive. As long as he isn’t forced to watch this game. Alabama 17, Colorado 10.

Meineke Car Care – Even their moms don’t care. Wake Forest 19, Connecticut 14.

Emerald – Beavers are better than this bowl assignment. Oregon State 31, Maryland 24.

Texas – Two Southwest Conference refugees who weren’t good enough for Big 12. Houston 24, TCU 16.

Liberty – Maine actually beat an SEC team two years ago. Wow. Mississippi State 16, Central Florida 13.

Motor City – Watch out: MAC always gets motivated for Big 10 foes. Purdue 26, Central Michigan 21.

New Mexico – My early vote for most insignificant bowl. New Mexico 30, Nevada 20.

PapaJohns.com – I’m hungry. Cincinnati 38, Southern Miss 24.

Poinsettia – Middies prove you don’t have to throw much to be fun to watch. Navy 47, Utah 34.

Humanitarian – New Year’s Eve in Boise! Yeah! Georgia Tech 23, Fresno State 3.

New Orleans – Howard Schnellenberger lives. Memphis 20, Florida Atlantic 10.

GMAC – Yawn. Bowling Green 19, Tulsa 17.

Hawaii – At least the Broncos won’t be slumming in Arizona this year. Boise State 52, East Carolina 31.

International – You can’t make me watch. Rutgers 31, Ball State 10.