With summer close at hand I’m sure the lawmakers of this state and this country will soon be taking a long vacation. However, before they close shop I’m sure they will attempt to pass as many laws as they can. It is at this time of the year when all the questionable bills get passed and laws enacted that leave many of us shaking our heads.

I’ve been doing a bit of research about some of the laws that were enacted many years ago, but still exist today throughout the country. Every state has some of these ancient edicts still on the books. Maine, for example, has a law that still gives horses the right-of-way and one that requires homeowners to allow strangers the use of their bathroom if so requested.

I’m sure such a law for bathroom use was passed in a time when houses were few and far between and there were no gas stations or Burger Kings close at hand to relieve weary travelers. I’m sure there are other laws that nullify the older ones, but the fact that so many are still on the books is amusing. The fact that there was ever a need for some of these laws to exist in the first place is even more amusing.

This column is the first in a two-part, maybe even three-part, series of some of these archaic laws that I have come across. Today I will devote my findings to laws governing the behavior of and toward animals and I’m sure you readers will be as baffled as I am as to why some of these laws came about.

For example, in Marshalltown, Iowa, horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants. I don’t know what early fire hydrants were made of but it does make you wonder. In New Orleans, there is no mention of horses eating fire hydrants, however, it is still illegal to own, a fire hydrant that is.

In Utah, it is against the law to fish from horseback and in Boise, Idaho, you can’t fish from the back of a giraffe. In Kansas you can’t fish with your bare hands. In Ohio, I guess you can fish anyway you want as long as you don’t get the fish drunk because that is against the law.

I can sort of understand the no fishing on horseback; horses were the primary means of transportation at one time. But I have not been able to find any references to any over abundance of giraffes in Boise. I assume that for there to be a need for a law against getting fish drunk, this must have been a big problem in Ohio.

In Massachusetts there is a law requiring all dogs to have their hind legs tied during the month of April. This must be considered the peak mating time and certainly if a dog’s hind legs are tied the mating ability is limited.

The state of California handles this issue a bit differently by banning all animals from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school or place of worship.

Teaching dogs to control their natural instincts wouldn’t work in Hartford, Conn., because there it is illegal to educate a dog. I guess you can teach a cat anything you want, which would come in handy in Sherling, Colo., where cats can’t run loose unless they have been fitted with a taillight. I think you would have to teach them how to turn it off and on.

Some of the old laws were passed in an attempt to protect animals, too. In Zion, Ill., lawmakers saw the need to pass a law that would prevent anyone from giving a lighted cigar to dogs, cats or any other domesticated animal. If the cigar isn’t lit it’s probably OK.

In Oklahoma, violators can be arrested if caught making ugly faces at a dog. I don’t make this stuff up folks; that really is a law.

In Norfolk, Va., it is against the law to spit on a seagull, and annoying birds in public parks in Honolulu is simply not tolerated.

In Alaska, it is legal to shoot bears, but it is not legal to wake a sleeping bear to take its photograph. So think twice before you try that and if, while you’re in Alaska, you should go to Fairbanks, don’t give any alcoholic beverages to the moose there because that will land you in jail, if in fact, the drunken moose doesn’t do you in first.

In Key West, Fla., much to the chagrin of Colonel Sanders, chickens are a protected species.

Georgia has a law that prohibits keeping a donkey in a bathtub, but I’m not sure if that’s for the donkey’s protection or to prevent clogging the public sewers with donkey droppings. In Massachusetts, it is illegal to keep a mule on a second floor in a building outside of a city unless it has two exits (the building, not the mule). That’s good for the mules, allowing them an escape in the event of fire, but what about the poor city mules where there isn’t such a law? Doesn’t anybody care?

Nevada doesn’t allow anyone to drive a camel on a highway, and given some of the weird goings on in Las Vegas that probably makes sense. In Arizona you can drive a camel anywhere you want, but hunting them is strictly prohibited.

The city of Tulsa, Okla., does not allow elephants in the downtown area, yet in Florida, they do, but if you tie an elephant to a parking meter you still have to put money in the meter just like you would for a car; it’s the law.

In Baltimore, Md., it is apparently OK to own a lion, but it is illegal to take the lion to the movies. I bet lions would like to see “Born Free.”

Folks in Fountain Inn, S.C., should know that their horses have to wear pants at all times, and in Texas, if you milk your neighbor’s cow, you could go to jail.

In my next column I will explore some of the outdated, yet still existing, laws governing the behavior of men and women and the way I see it, if you think some of these animal laws are bizarre, you ain’t seen nothing yet.