Let’s recast “Gilligan’s Island” with Dick Cheney as the skipper, George W. Bush as Gilligan, Laura Bush as Ginger and Phil Gramm as the professor. John and Cindy McCain can play the Howells, and Sarah Palin can portray Mary Ann.

In episode 1: After eight years at sea, the skipper and his little buddy shipwreck the S.S. Economy. They blame the professor, who was helping to steer.

Episode 2: Thurston Howell III claims that the ship is fundamentally sound, although it sits at the bottom of a lagoon. He plans to refloat the S.S. Economy with Mary Ann as his first mate.

Episode 3: Hilarity ensues as Thurston Howell tries to steer the ship without a compass and Mary Ann mistakes the poop deck for the head.

Episode 4: The S.S. Economy re-crashes on the same island. Lovey Howell manages to swim ashore with her one-day $300,000 wardrobe. She and Thurston return to living in their seven huts. It becomes apparent that Thurston and Mary Ann are no better leaders than the skipper and Gilligan.

Gerard L. Decoteau, Lewiston