DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been living together for a year. We split all the bills – rent, utilities, etc. – in half.

A few nights ago I asked him how he felt about paying for half my birth control pills, which amounts to $40 a month. Because neither of us is ready for children, I think we should share the expense.

Am I out of line to ask my boyfriend to split the cost with me? This has become a hot topic at work. The guys don’t agree with me, and surprisingly, most of the women don’t, either. What is your take on this? – ALL IN LOVE IS FAIR

DEAR ALL: As I see it, there are two kinds of expenses when people share a dwelling: joint expenses and those that are personal. Prescription drugs usually fall into the latter category. Unless you are prepared to pay half the cost of his prescription drugs – including Viagra – my advice is to back down on this one.

DEAR ABBY: Ever since my best friend, “Wendy,” turned 40, she has gone bonkers. Don’t get me wrong, some of the craziness is good. We’re both starting to lose weight. Wendy also went back to school and seemed to be happy with husband No. 3.

What has me concerned is that Wendy appears to have developed an eating disorder because she’s so determined to be the same size as her 21-year-old daughter. She has also become obsessed with an 18-year-old boy, which could end her marriage.


I love Wendy, but when I try to talk to her, she calls me “judgmental” and “holier than thou.” Is there anything I can do to help my friend? – MIDLIFE CRISIS

DEAR M.C.: You may love Wendy, but unless the woman is willing to face up to the fact that she has a problem, there is nothing anyone can do to “help” her. She may be terrified of growing old, not as happy as you thought with husband No. 3, or competing with her daughter. Be supportive, and recommend that she make an appointment with her doctor or a psychologist when the time comes. But until she’s ready to listen, she will continue to tune you out.

P.S. I don’t know what happened to her first two marriages, but it appears Wendy may be someone who is unable to learn from past mistakes.

DEAR ABBY: My 22-year-old daughter was driving on a busy street when she noticed an older gentleman in running shorts lying on the median. She stopped, turned on her hazard lights and went to help. He was unresponsive, but breathing.

When she called 911, she was told that more than 100 motorists had reported a “dead man” on the street, but no one had stopped to check on him. Police, an ambulance and a fire truck arrived shortly after her call.

Abby, at what point do we become invisible? When do we cease to be important? Would it have been different if that person had been a child or someone in his 30s? Have we lost our humanity? – DISAPPOINTED IN TAMPA

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: I doubt whether the situation would have been different if the man had been in his 30s rather than a senior. If a child had been lying there … maybe.

The passing motorists may have thought they had “done their duty” by calling 911 and were afraid to do more because they didn’t know what else to do. Have we lost our humanity? Some people may have, but your daughter isn’t one of them. Orchids to her, and to you, for having raised such a caring – and proactive – individual.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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