They say there’s no such thing as a free lunch, but I’ve found one.

I hate to sound like a one-note tuba, but the free lunch is energy conservation, in particular, compact fluorescent light bulbs.

CFLs are good for the environment and easy on the pocketbook. These babies can collectively make a lot of difference. According to the government’s Energy Star program, if every American home replaced just one light bulb with an Energy Star-qualified CFL bulb, we would save enough energy to light more than 3 million homes for a year, more than $600 million in annual energy costs, and prevent greenhouse gases equivalent to the emissions of more than 800,000 cars.

But depending on which part of this country you live in, only 5 to 10 percent of American households use them. Why not?

Apparently, according to my research and the nonscientific survey I’ve done amongst friends, the American public doesn’t buy the free lunch argument and just plain doesn’t like them. There are a lot of nasty CFL myths floating around from their early days on the market.

Here’s the big question:

They tell you that you can put in a 26 watt CFL and get 100 watts of light. Isn’t that physically impossible? A scam?

Here’s the answer:

Ever get burned from touching an incandescent light bulb? They’re hot. Turn on a 100-watt incandescent bulb, and approximately 75 percent of the energy goes to producing heat, which doesn’t help you read the newspaper or find your way to the bathroom at 2 a.m. It’s just wasted electricity.

Compact fluorescents, on the other hand, are cool to the touch. Most of the energy they draw goes toward producing light. You get more for less, a free lunch.

The initial outlay for CFLs is more, but they pay for themselves in lowered electrical bills in less than a year, and they last seven to 10 years. You replace them less often so you save on the cost of bulbs. Your overall savings will vary on how long the bulb is on each day and your electric rate. (Tip: don’t use them in passageways where the bulb is on for less than 15 minutes. They burn out faster that way.) General savings estimates are from $30 to $50 per bulb over its lifetime.

So why, in some households, is one family member replacing incandescent bulbs with CFLs and the next one who comes along (especially women) putting the old bulbs back?

Apparently a lot of people tried them when they first came out and didn’t like them. They were noisy, flickered, and took a long time to warm up. Their ugly curly shapes stuck out of lamps or just plain didn’t fit into fixtures. They were too dim for the job. And worse, the cold, harsh light made you look pale and washed out. Bad news. Bad for the décor, and bad for the warm cozy feeling of being snug at home. If you were planning a romantic evening, better to stick to candlelight.

Furthermore, the darn bulb could last 10 years, so one or two of the nasty things could convince you to hate them for a long time.

But you really don’t have to make your loved ones look ill to do your part.

There’s been a lot of work to improve CFLs in the past decade, and they’re continuing to improve. The new bulbs come in all shapes and sizes, even the little elegant candle-flame shapes. There are floodlights for recessed lights and bulbs specially made for 3-way lamps and dimmers. They don’t hum, they warm up to full strength faster, and there are higher wattages available. You can also choose the familiar warm yellow tone we’re used to from incandescent bulbs or soft whites or cooler tones if you prefer.

In short, if you haven’t looked at CFLs for the past few years, it’s a whole new world out there.

Drawbacks? There is one thing: For years we’ve used fluorescent bulbs (including the old long bulbs) without being aware that they contain toxic mercury vapor, which means they should not be disposed of in your regular trash. The amount of mercury is tiny and getting smaller all the time, but it is still a hazard. Bulbs can be disposed of in special recycling programs. In Franklin County, retailers who recycle CFLs for you include: Aubuchon, Farmer’s Union, True Value, Reny’s, and Wal-Mart in Farmington; Paris Farmer’s Union in Jay; and Rangeley Lakes Building Supply.

Handle them with care, but if you should break one in your home, air the room out, clean up thoroughly (use a damp cloth or sticky tape on a hard surface, or vacuum a rug) and dispose of everything in a sealed plastic bag or tight jar.

That’s the case for CFLs. So while you go out to buy a few compact fluorescents, I’ll put the tuba back in the case. Promise.