It’s a familiar concept to most grandparents – spoil the little ones rotten and then give them back to their parents. After all, that’s what being a grandparent is all about. There’s even a sign that says, “If I had known grandchildren were so much fun, I would have had them first.”

That philosophy works fine for the average grandparent, but for me and for all those grandparents out there who provide regular daycare for their grandchildren, such a policy could wear a person out. I’m not about to create a brat and then deal with him every day!

Disciplining, re-directing and following-through on edicts are critically important aspects for what I refer to as “Grand-Givers.” Essentially, you are “in loco parentis,” Latin for “in place of the parent.” Although more commonly referred to in educational settings, where teachers are given the authority to act in the best interest of the students when their parents are not present, you are blessed with the responsibility and joy of temporarily parenting your grandchild – probably with an abundance of patience you didn’t have in your first go-round – for a good part of the day.

With that said, there are going to be good days and bad; sometimes they nap, and sometimes they don’t. Some days they’re easily amused, and on others, they can be quite cranky. It’s all part of the package.

One of the first revelations for “Grand-Givers” is that things are different now. Common practices three or more decades ago have been replaced with updated viewpoints. Valid or not, these are the prevailing attitudes, and Grand-Givers must respect the parents and their rules. If the parents tell you they have a “no juice, water only” strategy for hydrating in between meals, then that’s what you do. No arguments. No comments. Just do it.

In my situation, I had not taken care of a young baby for 30 years, so last September, when Owen started arriving every day at 6:45 a.m., there was a learning curve for both of us. I often wondered how I would entertain a four-month old. I couldn’t even remember what my early stay-at-home days were like with his father. Several bottles and three naps a day helped, and we eventually settled into a routine. Gradually, he was able to crawl around, inspect, examine and investigate with vigor. Following a long winter, spring arrived, he had his first birthday, and things were becoming easier!

By the time he returned in late August for our second year together, his cognitive and expressive abilities had advanced quickly, and I suddenly had a 16-month old grandson who would pat his diaper to tell me it needed changing! Every day seems to bring new challenges and opportunities for exploration.

Because both his parents are educators, I have the summer off, but my sister-in-law has the opposite schedule; she provides childcare for her school-age grandchildren during the summer break and on vacations. Some Grammie Daycares are open year-round.

Although many grandparents will offer to care for their grandchildren without remuneration, it’s probably a good idea for parents to pay them something, even if it’s only $10 a week. “Dear Abby” recommends this because, she says, they may have given up jobs and retirement opportunities to provide childcare for their grandchildren. Chances are, that money will be spent on the kids anyway!