Being an advertising sales rep for a daily newspaper, I spend quite a bit of time writing ad copy. Most of the time there isn’t much room for creativity. Retail sales, cars, real estate and help wanted ads are pretty cut and dried. But, occasionally I do have the opportunity to create a real masterpiece. I can’t believe I haven’t won all kinds of awards.

I think my worst mistake was doing an ad for someone offering tutoring services. I put “tuttoring,” which would not give someone who may be looking to hire a tutor for his or her child great confidence in this person’s tutoring ability.

Because of my line of work and knowing all the pitfalls that come with it, I probably read advertisements more closely than the average person. In fact, I have made it a bit of a hobby to collect some of the ads that I thank God are not ones that I created.

Sometimes a missing word or a typo can change the whole meaning of an ad. For example, the lack of the word “else” gave a slightly different twist to this gem: “Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.”

Adding the word “earring” would have made a little more sense to the following ad: “Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home too!”

Typos are a major problem in the newspaper industry. Even with careful proofreading, mistakes slip through and when they do they can alter the entire meaning of the message.

These ads and those following, not in the Sun Journal but widely circulated on the Web, highlight some of the more serious also entertaining ad mistakes out there like:

“For Sale: Three canaries of undermined sex,” or “Great Dames for sale,” leave the reader a little confused as to exactly what is for sale.

“Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.” That ad may be appealing in certain dysfunctional families, but for most of us we prefer to leave our aunts right where they are and focus on getting rid of the ants.

I’m sure that this landlord wasn’t very happy to see their apartment-for-rent ad end up in the paper as “For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.”

Or the lady who was advertising to take care of children in her home when her ad was printed: “Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals and smacks included.”

Spacing is another thing that is a problem in print advertising. I’m pretty sure that a certain store chain was quite upset when the lack of a simple space changed their boastful ad to: “And now, the Superstore – unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.”

It isn’t always the newspaper’s fault when ads sound a little strange. Customers sometimes have a very set idea of how they want their ad worded even when it doesn’t make a lot of sense. A case in point: “Semi-annual after-Christmas Sale,” makes you wonder just what calendar this advertiser is using.

“Stock up and save. Limit one,” makes you wonder what math system this advertiser is using.

“Illiterate? Write today for free help,” makes you wonder what logic this smart advertiser was using.

Most of the time the quirky and sometimes amusing ads are just a case of bad sentence structure and probably cause distress to any English teacher who may read them.

“Dog for sale. Eats anything and is fond of children.” Sounds like a dog after W.C. Fields’ heart. And I’m sure if he was alive today he would love to eat at this restaurant: “Dinner Special – Turkey $6.35, Chicken or beef $6.25; Children $2.00.”

“Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating,” is an ad that certainly could use a little restructuring. So could: “Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers,” and “We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.” Wording them a little differently would make them sound better, but they wouldn’t be nearly as funny.

In some other ads a little more explanation could have been added for clarity.

“Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel,” or “Magician seeks woman to assist in “sawing-in-half” illusion. Blue Cross included.”

One of my all-time favorite ads is: “Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first.”

The way I see it, advertising is a great way for businesses to sell their goods and services, but it can also make for some fun reading if the wording isn’t just right.