Shopping Siren loves TV.

There, I said it.

I know, I know, television is supposed to rot your brain. Watch too much and you turn into a psychopathic killer. Or a zombie bank robber. Or something. But I don’t believe that. And also? TV is cool.

Well. It always has been in the past.

It saddens me to say this season has been a disappointment so far. The premiere episodes of “NCIS” and “Criminal Minds” were OK but not as spectacular as the cliffhangers promised. “Heroes,” my favorite two seasons ago, is more confusing than fun now. The first “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” very nearly made me shout at the TV, and not in a “Wow! That was awesome!” kind of way.

The fact that some of my all-time favorites were canceled this year? Hasn’t helped. (Shouldn’t 72 years on air earn a little leeway with the ratings?)

Thank goodness “House,” “The Big Bang Theory” and “The Office” have been as great as ever, but three shows do not a successful TV season make. So if things don’t improve, what’s a girl to do with all that free prime time?

Here are some excellent alternatives.

At least until “Lost” premieres in four months. (Sigh. Sawyer.)

• “10 Pound Books: Home Repair Guide,” Waldenbooks, $9.99
Learn how to fix leaky faucets, install recessed lighting, figure out an electrical circuit and deal with hundreds of other oh-hey-I’m-a-homeowner-now type things. The book includes easy step-by-step directions and color photos, boosting your chances of success. While away some hours with a DIY project or two. Wow, that means less TV and more productivity. No zombie bank robber today!

• “Practical Meditation with Buddhist Principles,” Waldenbooks, $7.99
Kit comes with a 64-page guide and a DVD that, the box says, will help you reduce stress and anxiety and increase your sense of well-being and self-confidence. I can feel the bad TV washing away already. Ohhmm.

• “The Lost Symbol” by Dan Brown, Waldenbooks, $29.95 (plus 30 percent off)
Over 500 pages of action and intrigue. Think “Numb3rs” meets “The X-Files,” but filled with any actor you want in your head. David Boreanaz it is!

• Soccer balls, Play It Again Sports, sizes 3, 4 and 5, $9.99
Use that extra free time to kick a ball around with the family. Bond with the kids, get some exercise, figure out why soccer balls apparently come in different sizes.

• Bocce ball set, Play It Again Sports, $29.99
Soccer not your thing? Try a rousing game of bocce ball. On the . . . uh . . . ground? With balls of some sort. And scoring? Well, I’m sure it’s fun after you figure out how to play.

• Wii zapper, Best Buy, $24.99
Wii controller that allows you to shoot things in game land. Comes with a free crossbow training game. Because if I’m going to miss TV, at least I want to get in some crossbow training.

• TV show DVDs, Best Buy, various prices
Not happy with what’s on now? Check out what was on TV then. DVDs feature recent shows (“Battlestar Galactica,” season 1, $44.99), classic shows (“The Donna Reed Show,” season 2, $34.99) and shows you never thought you’d see again (“Alf,” season 2, $21.99). Collector sets can be expensive — the complete 11 seasons of “MASH” cost $199.99 — but individual seasons are a little more reasonable. For $49.99, check out season 1 of the 1980s short-lived hit “Thirtysomething.” Because now you’re old enough to know what all the angst was about.

Best find: American Girl Cooking Studio kits, Waldenbooks, $4.99
Each kit features a girl from the American Girl book series, tells a little about cooking from her time period, gives recipes from the era and provides ideas for themed parties. From Felicity in the 1700s (Mmm, almond tarts) to Julie in the 1970s (chocolate fondue, anyone?), the recipes looked both easy to use and tasty. Fun history/cooking lessons for kids and adults. Don’t have a kid of your own to giggle with over 18th-century pudding? Borrow a niece or nephew, godchild, cousin or neighbor child. Um. Just remember to ask their parents first.

Think twice: Access Hollywood handheld trivia game, Best Buy, $14.99
If the only thing you can find to occupy your time is an Access Hollywood trivia game, turn the TV back on! There’s rotting your brain and then there’s really rotting your brain.
Pass the remote.

Shopping Siren’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who have pledged their undying love to Animal Planet) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at [email protected].