Nateva

Was by all accounts, a smashing success, a perfect balance of music, mind altering and nudity. You love to see that happen. Now we just wait until April, when there’s a spate of women giving birth to kids with funny names, such as Iggy or Serendipity or Porta Potty (the latter named for the spot where conception occurred).

One up, one down

In Texas, a fan at a Ranger’s game fell 30 feet from an upper deck while making a grab for a foul ball. Umpire Joe West*, not at this particular game, is at work composing a country song about the horror** and will announce its release at press conferences in Boston and New York.

*I understand that if you’re not a baseball fan, none of this makes any sense at all. I ask that you go ahead and presume that it’s just hilarious.

**If you’re planning to protest this item as callous in the face tragedy, forget about it. The leaping baseball fan was on the mend and hanging out with the likes of Nolan Ryan a day later.

(*)

I’m really beginning to enjoy this asterisk approach to afterthoughts. Expect to be annoyed with it further.

Just putting it out there

Which, incidentally, was the most frequently uttered line at Nateva. But anyhoo, I’m just putting it out there: Shouldn’t there be separate lines at Dunkin Donuts? One for us good, hard-working, pure-of-heart types who are ordering a humble cup of coffee. And one for the rest of you, with your triple-fudge lattes and your complex bagel sandwiches that take 45 minutes to put together.

EarthFirst!

So, a young lady chained herself up to express her disgust with our misuse of wind technology.* In Eustis that might be a protest, lass. In other places, it’s entertainment. You could make a buck or two.

*Or something. I only looked at the photo.

The unbeaten path

My thoughts and prayers go out to the fine riders of Rumford who recently lost another beloved trail after a couple learned that they own the paper road that has been ridden by ATV enthusiasts for generations. I can offer no words to assuage the sense of pain and betrayal that comes when a familiar path falls by the way. I can only suggest that you comfort yourselves in the knowledge that the landowners will perhaps turn it into a giant herb garden for all to enjoy. Or they’ll do nothing but stare at the empty woods and laugh. It’s too soon to say, really.

Heard on the scanner

Somewhere in the Twin Cities, one officer was heard asking another if he had any yellow chalk to spare. Yellow chalk? The only thing we can assume here is that yellow is used to brighten up those otherwise drab body outlines scrawled around dead folks. It’s either that or draw in a smiley face, and that just doesn’t seem right.

Inertia works both ways

What sounded like a motorcycle crash in Auburn turned out to be something else entirely. A dispatcher reported over the radio that the rider simply appeared unable to keep his bike upright. Five to one the dude brings his machine back to the shop to complain that the cruise control doesn’t work.

Copy the Story Link