DEAR ABBY: A woman driving the car ahead of me was swerving and weaving in and out of the next lane. She would slow down, then speed up, and I thought she might have been drunk.

As I pulled up beside her, I realized she was using sign language to communicate with her passenger. She would turn her head toward the passenger, signing with both hands and ignoring her responsibilities of being a good driver. Is this legal?

That woman was driving recklessly, and I don’t think she should have been driving if she couldn’t pay attention to the road. — SAFE DRIVER IN LEXINGTON, S.C.

DEAR SAFE DRIVER: According to the Beverly Hills, Calif., Police Department, the use of sign language is legal as long as it doesn’t interfere with safe driving. The state of California has a basic speed law that states: “No person shall drive a vehicle upon a state highway at a speed greater than is reasonable or prudent having due regard for weather, visibility, the traffic on, and the surface and width of, the highway, and in no event which endangers the safety of persons or property.”

In the case you have described, the person who was signing to her passenger was in violation of this law. I’m sure your state has similar regulations.

DEAR ABBY: When my father-in-law, “Herb,” comes to visit, he rummages through our personal belongings whether they be in the garage, basement or storage closet. He feels compelled to “fix” anything he thinks needs fixing or rearranging. I am certain Herb thinks he’s being helpful, but we have addressed this issue with him many times and we’re always met with defensiveness and lack of understanding. He justifies his actions by listing all of the good deeds he does for us — some of which are legit.

My husband and I are at a loss. We love Herb and want him to be a part of our lives and the lives of our children, but this makes us very uncomfortable. At times, we even feel violated in our own home. Where do we go from here? — HERB’S FAMILY IN WISCONSIN

DEAR FAMILY: Your father-in-law may feel so comfortable at your place that he has it confused with HIS place. From here, you install a lock on every door in your home that you do not want Herb to enter without supervision. And so he won’t be bored, plan ahead and consider setting aside some projects that do need fixing, so he won’t be sitting around with nothing to do that makes him feel useful.

DEAR ABBY: I recently had a dinner party in my condo. One of my guests brought along his new roommate, whom I had never met. During the evening, the young man kept placing his foot on my coffee table and rubbing the sole of his shoe over the edge and corner. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable. After the party ended, I realized my coffee table had been damaged by what he did.

What is a polite way to tell someone to remove his or her foot from my table without causing a scene or embarrassing him? — MITCH IN CHICAGO

DEAR MITCH: Offer the person a footstool or something to place under the offending foot that would protect your table. Or, take an even more direct approach and say to the person in a calm manner, “Please don’t put your foot there because the finish on my coffee table is easily damaged.”

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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