Whether old news or recent, divorces are not easy to deal with, especially when planning a wedding. If your parents or future in-laws are divorced, you must plan certain aspects of your wedding carefully to keep conflict to a minimum. The areas most affected generally are invitations, seating and the receiving line.

The wording on wedding invitations typically names the host. Who is hosting your wedding? If you are, you have nothing to worry about. If any of the parents are hosting, you will need to take extra care with the wording so that it reflects the nature of the situation. You can go about this in many ways. Generally, the names of the divorced should fall on separate lines and their relationship to the bride or groom should be established, if needed. If the bride’s parents are remarried and they are hosting the wedding, for example, the invitation might read: “Mr. and Mrs. George Smith / and / Mr. and Mrs. Henry Jackson / request the honor of your presence / at the marriage of Mr. George Smith’s and Mrs. Jackson’s daughter / Susan Ann….”

If there is conflict among the divorced, good seating at the ceremony and reception is a must. You can go about this in many ways. Generally, mothers and spouses sit in the front row at the ceremony with their family right behind them, and fathers and spouses in the third row with their family right behind them. If the divorced parents are on good terms, they may all sit together in the front row, with their families behind them. The same principles apply to seating at the reception. Divorced parents in conflict should be seated at separate tables; divorced parents in good standing may be seated together. It really is a matter of choice. You may switch up the seating as needed.

As for the receiving line, you have a few options for dealing with divorced parents. You may have them stand together if they get along, or separate them if they don’t. You may also ask the mothers only to stand in the line.

Remarriages among the divorced can complicate matters, especially if you are close to your stepparents. No matter what the nature of your relationship with the new spouses, you should recognize them and involve them in the wedding, even if it is just mentioning their names in the invitation. Should you want them to play a more prominent role, you should discuss your wishes with all parties involved. A bride raised by her stepfather, for example, might prefer him rather than her biological father to walk her down the aisle. Before she makes any definite plans, she should discuss her decision with her biological father. This will eliminate the element of surprise and alleviate hurt feelings and tension later.

Planning a wedding around divorced parents is not easy, especially when they are in conflict. Tread lightly, discuss your decisions with everyone involved and proceed with caution.

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