DEAR ABBY: I live down the street from the town cemetery. It contains some old stones from the 1800s that are starting to crumble. This cemetery has become a favorite place for many to walk their dogs or ride their bikes. One woman lets her dog run off-leash and her young daughters play tag around the stones. Another neighbor allowed her children to set off fireworks.

I was taught that in a cemetery, people should behave as if they are in a church. It upsets me to see this place used as a playground. This is a final resting place!

Can you comment on proper etiquette in the cemetery? — RESPECTFUL IN OHIO

DEAR RESPECTFUL: Who is in charge of the upkeep of the cemetery? That individual should be informed about what’s happening, so decorum can be re-established and activities that can cause it to deteriorate can be stopped. The idea that people have been using it as a dog park, where the animals can urinate and defecate on the graves, is appalling.

Cemetery etiquette is simple: Treat the graves as you would the graves of your parents, or as you would like your own to be treated. This includes no loud chatter, in case there are people in mourning there, not walking on the graves, not leaving chewing gum on the gravestones, keeping pets leashed (if they are brought there at all), and teaching children the difference between a cemetery and a playground.

DEAR ABBY: Why do men’s pants come in sizes by waist and length and women’s don’t? I’m tall, and I’d like to find a pair of slacks that fit me off the rack instead of having to rip out seams. Most stores have pants with the same inseam and waist measurements, with the exception of petites. Why can’t women’s pants come in waist and length sizes as well? — MITZI IN BAINBRIDGE ISLAND, WASH.

DEAR MITZI: Good question. I discussed it with fashion designer Bradley Bayou, who said:

”Historically, women’s fashion has always measured women only at the bust, hip and waist. It was considered improper (and unnecessary) to measure an inseam since women were only supposed to wear skirts and dresses. It wasn’t until the 1930s and ’40s, with Katharine Hepburn and Marlene Dietrich, that it became OK for women to wear pants — but only when measured by skilled tailors.

”Again, for the dignity of women, ‘universal sizing’ (short, average or tall) was created as the solution for not measuring a woman’s inseam. It also costs less to manufacture women’s pants in universal sizing for mass production. Pants with an inseam measurement were kept for higher-end slacks or couture.

”While currently some women’s slacks/jeans have an inseam, they’re primarily found in a universal size, while men’s pants are — and always will be — available with an inseam listed.”

DEAR ABBY: My partner and I are being married. We plan a small wedding with just family and a few friends. While it won’t be in the main sanctuary, we will be having a church wedding in one of the church halls followed by a reception in the same hall. Would it be correct to invite the religious official and/or their partner to stay for the reception? — CONFUSED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CONFUSED: It would not only be correct, it would also be thoughtful and gracious to extend an invitation to your officiant and his or her partner to attend your reception.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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