DEAR ABBY: I’m a 16-year-old girl. I have good grades, participate in sports and activities, and I’m involved in my church. My parents have always trusted me and given me freedom because they know I can handle it.

I want to attend a concert in a bigger town with a friend. However, my parents insist I must have an adult with me. I feel I’m responsible enough to go to the concert without one. How can I convince my parents? (A parent would be driving us to and from the concert.) — CAN HANDLE IT IN OREGON

DEAR CAN HANDLE IT: Your parents want to be sure you are safe. Although they trust you to act responsibly, they may not be so confident about other fans in the audience. When large numbers of people gather for sports events and concerts, there is always the chance that a few troublemakers may cause a commotion or even a stampede. That’s why the performers usually have heavy security around them. Please don’t take your parents’ stance on this personally. They are trying to protect you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are hosting our daughter’s wedding and reception. We had to limit the number of guests due to space and budgetary considerations. Some of the RSVPs have come back with a larger number of people accepting than were listed on the invitation envelope as being invited.

How should we handle this? We expect others may do the same, and we cannot accommodate extra guests. It’s a touchy situation because my daughter and her fiance interact with these folks at the church where she works. She feels bad enough that we had to limit the number of guests — and now this situation. — FEELING AWKWARD IN MICHIGAN

DEAR FEELING AWKWARD: If this is strictly a matter of money and what you can afford, sit down with your daughter and her fiance, explain the situation and ask if they would like to pay for the “uninvited” guests. If they say yes — fine. If they say no, call the people who indicated they plan to bring extra guests and tell them that because of space and budgetary considerations, you are unable to accommodate them. Please don’t feel embarrassed to do so, because the people who should feel embarrassed are the ones who committed this breach of etiquette.

DEAR ABBY: If I tell my wife I’m going to clean the bathroom today, but I don’t manage to get it done because I was busy with other things, is that considered breaking a promise even though I didn’t use the word “promise”? My wife says that if you say you’re going to do something, then that is a promise. Is she right? — A MATTER OF SEMANTICS

DEAR SEMANTICS: Not exactly. If you tell your wife you are going to clean the bathroom today and don’t get around to it, that is frustrating, aggravating and irresponsible. But if she responds to your statement, “Is that a promise?” and you say yes — THAT’S a promise.

DEAR ABBY: I’m a grown-up Southern girl who has had “honesty is the best policy” pounded into my head ever since I can remember. My family had a falling out when I spoke my mind about some family members because I was tired of them saying things behind other people’s backs. I felt the truth should be expressed, but now I am to blame for the family issues when I was just being honest.

Where is the line in the sand where the honesty policy becomes brutal and unfeasible? — TELLING IT LIKE IT IS

DEAR TELLING IT: The line is crossed when the truth is used like a sledgehammer and the words are spoken in anger or retaliation.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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