Shopping Siren loved building forts when she was young. Yes, OK, so most of them were pillow forts in the living room, soft and squishy and centrally located in climate-controlled comfort. But once or twice there was a fort out in the woods, a treehouse made mostly of tree and lacking any semblance of house. 

Bag Lady was afraid of heights and was an upper-body weakling (a knotted rope dangling off a giant pine taunted for years), but loved her yellow swing set whose concrete-bottomed poles heaved out of the ground — thuthump, thuthump — every time you swung too hard.

Even decades (we won’t say how many) after our last recess and Saturday play date, we still have a great appreciation for swing sets and treehouses. They’re childhood staples that transcend childhood. Like Legos. Or s’mores with burned marshmallow and melted chocolate. You know, supposedly for kids but stolen by adults every chance they get.   

Which is why we stood agape at Oxford’s Buy the Fire, a Main Street shop that mostly sells stoves and fireplaces but also has a selection of gigantic swing sets out front. Sets with twisty-tunnel slides. Sets with climbing walls. Sets with forts and ladders and monkey bars. Oh, my.

It was all we could do to hold ourselves back from whooping it up and making a mad dash for the nearest swing. It was a close call. Fortunately, peep-toe kitten heels don’t run well.  

But despite our mature reserve, the sight of the swing sets got our imaginations going. Pre-fab swing sets. Homemade treehouses. Forts of all sizes and shapes. 

It’s part four of our Oxford road trip. And childhood take two.

For those who want the whimsy without the work:

* Creative Playthings Chesapeake series basic swing set, Buy the Fire, $2,699 (installation and delivery included)

This basic wooden starter set comes with swings, a 10-foot wavy slide, built-in sandbox and ladder-accessible fort with a fabric canopy. Add a picnic table, climbing wall or fireman’s pole for an undetermined amount more. Also, a periscope. C’mon, you have to have a periscope. (A summer sale just ended this week, so perhaps check for fall sales.)

We also have to take a moment to give an extra kudos to Buy the Fire for great customer service. Quick, friendly, efficient and they never quizzed us on why we were interested in deluxe swing sets and swing-set accessories without having a child in tow. Coming up with believable, periscope-involved back stories? It wears.

* Playtime Swing Sets classic series, Buy the Fire, $799 (plus a 10 percent installation fee)

Wooden A-frame with swings. No frills. Just fun.

For those with DIY spirit and up-to-date homeowners’ insurance:

* Wood boards, 6-x-6, Record Building Supply, $4.58 each

Our childhood treehouses will never end up in Better Homes and Gardens, but we know enough to know you start with wood. Also, we think, nails? Or saws? The phrase “measure twice, cut once” seems to resonate for some reason.  

* Stanley sharp tooth saw, 20 inches, RBS, $24.19

Bag Lady hasn’t wielded a saw since Girl Scout camp. It’s been for the best.

* Bostich hammer, RBS, $41.99

A 22-ounce, checker-face, anti-vibe hammer. We had no idea hammers could have so many descriptors.

* Buffalo Tools 25-foot measuring tape, RBS, $1.65

This works a lot better than a ruler. Trust us.

* Gorilla wood glue, 8 ounces, RBS, $3.49

When giraffe wood glue won’t do.

* Sanding sponge, RBS, 95 cents

Box marked “irregulars,” but they all looked rectangular, sandy and spongy, so who are we to judge?

Best find: Dimango heavy-duty remote control for lighting, RBS, $16.49

It may not be pretty and it may blow apart in a stiff wind, but by god our treehouse will have remote-control lighting.

Think twice: Yellow caution tape, 1,000 feet, RBS, $12.99

Channel your inner child, pre-mortgage, pre-backaches and pre-that-piece-of-wood-is-a-thousand-splinters-waiting-to-happen. Throw caution to the wind and this caution tape out the window.

* Prices as of 8/22

Bag Lady and Shopping Siren’s true identities are protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who have no use for swings or gorillas) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach them at baglady@sunjournal.com and shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.

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